The Amusing Race
by max3833
Summary: The contestants finally escape the pyramids, only to be attacked by scarabs. But hopefully the will listen to a legendary problem-free philosophy to help them escape, and eventually cross the Nile, before the first elimination ceremony. TDWT AU.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I only own My OC's Jonathon, Zach, Danielle and Paul.

Max3833 presents…

Total Drama World Tour: 2.0

* * *

"Remind me why we are doing this," a male teen said as he gripped the wheel of the car with both hands. He had brown hair, sideburns, a green sweat shirt, and jeans.

"Because Paul," The boy sitting next to him began, "Danielle got these tickets cheap, and since her parents had to go on a business trip, she decided to take us. Since ya know, we are her friends and all." The teen had a red collared shirt, and blue sweat pants, and slip on shoes. He legs were actually held together by a leather strap, suggesting something strange about him.

"Well then, tell me this Jonathon," Paul stated, "Why did we have to take my car all the way to Toronto!"

"T-that's because," a girl with long black hair and a purple sweatshirt, presumably Danielle, said softly from the back seat, "You are th-the only one who has-s a car."

"Fine," Paul growled, turning the wheel yet again in order to try to get through the traffic, "how are you holding up Zach."

The final member of the four, another boy, raised up a thumb in approval. He had bright red hair, green eyes, a black t-shirt, and khakis. The other merely nodded at this. After several more moments, Paul finally began to flip out.

"Why the heck is traffic this bad!" he screamed.

"It is an award ceremony," Jonathon offered, though it did not seem to soothe Paul. Suddenly Paul felt a tap on his back, and Zach pointed out a small alley to their left.

"Good idea," Paul suddenly pulled into the alley, "We'll jus leave this here, and come back when this stupid award show is finished."

"Are you sure this is safe," Danielle wondered aloud.

"Do you want to actually see this thing?" Paul said sarcastically, before running out of the alley, "Now come on, we don't know how far this thing is, so we need to…oh, here we are."

By some strange coincidence, the alley was adjacent to the award ceremony. Paul began to walk towards the crowd, only to hear a loud cough. He sighed, and ran back to the car.

"You weren't going to leave me here," Jonathon asked angrily as Zach lifted him up, and Paul moved the wheel chair from the trunk under him, "Were you?"

"Survival of the fittest my friend," Paul laughed, as the other three glared at him. They then walked, or in Jonathon's case, rolled over to the crowd. They began to fight to the front, not wanting to miss what was going on.

"What show are we here to root for again?" Paul asked. The other looked dumbly at him.

"You mean you didn't even know the show we were here to see when you agreed to drive us all the way up here."

"I keep telling you that I never agreed to anything," Paul growled, "You got me up at four in the mourning, filled me up on coffee, and made me drive on five hours sleep fifteen hours all the way to this reject of a country. Do you know what it's like to be on the road all the way from Charlotte, North Carolina to Toronto, Ontario in one day!"

"We are here to root for that hit Canadian reality show," Jonathon explained, holding up a magazine with a picture of twenty two teens, "Total Drama. It's kind of like survivor, but with teens in it instead, and they had one season in an abandoned summer camp, and one in an abandoned film lot."

"We-e really-y liked the s-show," Danielle stuttered, "We-e even in-invited you to watch it with-th us during last summer."

"I had football practice," Paul stated, before slapping his forehead, "Of course it's a reality show. And a Canadian reality show at that!" groaned loudly, "Why do I hang out with you guys?"

"Because we have been friends since kindergarten," Jonathon offered.

"Be-because you find-d you teammates on the f-football team to be i-idiots," Danielle added.

Zach pulled a piece of paper and pen out of his backpack, wrote something down on the paper, which he then handed to Paul.

"Because we're awesome," Paul read groaning. As he crumbled up the paper, they all watched as a young African American girl ran up to a young man walking out of a limousine. The young man was wearing a yellow sweat suit, with orange hair and sun glasses.

"This is Sierra with our first arrival," the African girl said, "Harold, aka, H-bomb!"

Somebody threw a book at Harold, knocking the H-bomb out.

"Guess we have some H-bomb fans in the audience today," Sierra giggled, before spying the next limo, "And here is reality's most famous BFF's, Katie and Sadie."

"Oh my gosh," Katie muttered, "Celebrity Manhunt! Ah, Josh, we love you!"

"Do I want to know?" Paul asked with aggravation.

"They-ey are the ones who g-gave us the tickets," Danielle pointed out, "I still can't believe th-that I won that sweep st-stakes."

"They are kind of like Entertainment News," Jonathon pointed out, while Zach wrote something down, and handed it to the handicapped boy, which he read aloud, "Oh yeah, and apparently, the female host, Blaineley, is hot."

"Get you mind out of the gutter Zach!"

Suddenly, a giant bus pulled up in the front. On the side of the worn down vehicle, was a picture of an older, formal looking African American woman, and a younger African American man with a skull cap and a beard.

"I told you we'd be late, D.J.," the older woman complained as she climbed out of the bus, followed by her son. Paul looked back, and noticed Danielle twiddling her thumbs nervously as she saw the newest teen.

"D.J.," the all turned to see Sierra running up to the two new honorees, "How does it feel to have it all, and lose it?"

"Um," D.J. shrugged, "No big."

"What did he mean by that?"

"Oh," Jonathon laughed, "They owned a cooking show that got sued for making good tasting food."

"Oh."

"Okay," Sierra said, apparently hearing someone in her ear, "So D.J., who can't you stand from Total Drama. I mean, who do you-ow!"

Do you think I would ever raise my son to talk behind other people's backs," Momma D.J. asked, as the two walked back onto the carpet, leaving Sierra stunned.

Suddenly, two other limos pulled up, one with a young woman with tan skin, formal dress, and for some reason, a raccoon in her arms, and from the other, a punk with a green Mohawk and choke collar. Suddenly, as Jonathan opened his mouth, Paul shushed him.

"Let me guess," he said with disdain, "Good girl-Bad boy couple? And they are fighting for custody of the raccoon?"

"Wow," Jonathon said with amazement, "How'd you figure that out."

"Lucky guess," and then his eyes bugged out, "And who, is that?"

"Men," Danielle muttered, as all three guys stared at Lindsey, who was busy talking with Sierra. As the continued to talk, more and more cast-members filed onto the carpet, filling the whole walkway up.

"I call front seat," Heather shouted.

"Oh no you don't!"

Let's just say that lead to a pile up. As the main part of the cast attempted to right themselves, another limo pulled up, revealing an Indian boy in a sweater vest, with sunglasses, and a blue tooth. As he began to list out an order, he completely ignored Sierra, who had attempted to ask him a question.

"Not very good at the art of the interview," Paul said, as she failed to cause a look of surprise on her last interviewed group, H-bomb, and the other members of his band, "Is she."

"Nope."

"No-o."

Zach simply shook his head.

The four suddenly noticed that the crowd was moving inside the auditorium. They all smiled, as they began to walk in, Paul noticed something, the members of Total Drama were being held up by a large African American man.

"Hey," the four stopped as he pointed out what was going on, "Why are they stopping them?"

They continued to watch as Chris Mclean, host of the show, walked up to them, and how Noah gave Chris a latte and muffin. Then, another limo showed up, and suddenly Big-Foot, a bear, an Eskimo, and a young Spanish man walked past the cast. Then, Chris spat his latte in Noah's face, and apparently fired the egghead. The Chris closed the door, leaving the cast, and the four bystanders outside, with the spotlights going out.

"Wow," Jonathon muttered, "That's harsh."

"What," Paul said, "That former stars who had fifteen minutes of fame are forced out of the spot light while the host turns it into a successful career," his three friends stared at him, "Well, let's get inside, we might as well go see the show we drove this far to see."

"B-but," Danielle stuttered, "We don't care about-t the other-r shows. We are o-only fans of To-total Drama."

"Hey guys," Sierra addressed the cast, "We have to find a way in."

"Leave that to me," Izzy stated, as she suddenly ran into the nearby alley. After several seconds, Izzy appeared again, this time from inside. As they all smiled, the door closed behind her, locking them all out once again.

Suddenly, the T.V. came blazing on. On it, Alejandro, the handsome Spaniard from earlier reveal that the gang had lost to "Old People in their Undies" for best cast. And then, when Chris received his best Host award, and then forgot to mention them, they were all furious.

"Tomorrow," Chris continued, as the T.V. that had been showing him was in thoroughly bad condition, "I will be announcing my newest reality show, Total Drama Dirtbags on the Oprah Show in New York."

"Dudes," Geoff groaned, "You heard the guy, were nobodies again."

"At least I'll be able to survive on the streets," Duncan said.

"Me too," Ezekiel commented, as some random hobo suddenly stole his wallet out of his back pocket.

"And I'll go back to being just another pretty face," Justin moaned.

"And pecs," Katie marveled.

"And abs," Sadie marveled.

"And Butt," Owen giggled, eliciting several horrified stares by those who were listening.

"Did not need hear that," Paul slapped his forehead.

As the Total Drama Cast walked away, Sierra and the four travelers stared in shock. Well, Paul was actually trying to get into the building, which was locked, but the others were standing in shock.

"What's a matter with you guys?" Sierra shouted, "No one deserves to be famous more than you!"

"Walter Payton!" Paul shouted out, causing all those there to stare at him, before he shrugged, "Just saying."

"Do you have any idea how many millions of fans you have out in the world!" Sierra continued.

"Well where are they?" Duncan asked angrily, "Everyone abandoned us so they could follow Chris Mclean!"

"Not those guys," Sierra pointed to the four travelers, who waved. Paul crossed his arms angrily.

"You suck!" Zach hit Paul in the head, causing the teen to fall down. Then Jonathon rolled over Paul with his wheelchair.

"Pain!" Paul screamed.

"I have been watching, blogging, and PVR-ing you since the first episode," Sierra shouted, "We have fan sites about each and every one of you! We know everything about you, and we're rooting for you! We know about your eating habits, your hopes, your fears…YOUR DENTAL RECORDS!"

"Stalker," Heather whispered to Harold.

"Stalker," Paul groaned as he stood up, and his friends could not help but nod.

"You can't let us down now," Sierra begged, "What do you say?"

"What are we supposed to do?" Owen asked.

"Well," All turned to see Jonathon holding his chin, "If you beat those other contestants to New York, where that announcement is being held, you might be able to win fan support and get yourselves back on the show."

"Y-yeah," Danielle agreed, "Besides, Am-America has your biggest fan bases. H-heck, they h-have even made-de Ezek-Ezekiel p-p-popular."

"But how are we supposed to get to New York by tomorrow afternoon?" Harold asked in frustration.

"I think I have a way!" Izzy shouted.

"Yeah," Paul and Izzy said at the same time, "This should be interesting."

"Okay, Cody," she pointed at the geek, I need you to gather up assorted pieces of lumber."

"Um," Cody said with unease, "Right now?"

"Owen," she turned to the ton of fun, "I need you to get a medium sized boat motor."

"I'm on it."

"Noah!" she turned to the egghead, "I'm counting on you for the gallons of diesel fuel."

"Right," Noah laughed, "I'll get my unicorn to bring it here."

"Perfect," Izzy laughed, before she heard a honking noise.

"Hey guys," D.J. asked as he stood on the stairs of the bus, "Are you going to get on the bus or not?"

The entire crowd cheered, before Momma D.J. stuck her head out of the window. "But wipe your feet first," she chided, causing them all to groan. As they began to pile on the bus, Jonathon, Zach, Sierra, and Danielle followed them.

"Wait guys!" Paul shouted with irritation, "Don't tell me your going along with this half-bakes scheme."

"Why not?" Jonathon asked, as Geoff and Duncan lifted him up the stairs, "When will we ever have a chance to become famous again?"

"Well so long," Paul lifted up his keys. "I'm heading home."

Suddenly, the damaged T.V. blared on.

"Oh look, the Total Drama Dirt Bag bus is leaving right now!"

Suddenly, the T.V. showed a bus coming out of the studio through the alley. Along it's way, it was blocked by a car. The driver, not wanting to turn around, simply drove the bus over said car, totaling it. Paul just stared at the T.V. with his eyelids half covering his eyes.

"That was my car wasn't it?" Paul asked with disinterest. Danielle, Jonathon, and Zach quickly held each other in fear.

"Those assholes just ruined my car!" Paul suddenly jumped on the bus, and hit the gas. As the Total Drama cast cheered, they ignored Paul's cries of revenge.

Of course, this is only the beginning.

* * *

AN: Wow, got this new fic out quick. Please tell me what you thought of the OC's.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I only own My OC's Jonathon, Zach, Danielle and Paul.

Max3833 presents…

Total Drama World Tour: 2.0

* * *

"Welcome back to Celebrity Manhunt," Blaineley smirked as she sat in her desk next to Josh.

"We have breaking gossip news," Josh stated.

"This is Total Drama Comeback!" Blaineley announced, before adding, "Not to be confused with Kobold Necromancer's story.

The screen switched to a picture of a shadow of a helicopter following a bus. Suddenly Chris McLean's voice blared onto the screen, "They will do anything to claw their way back to the top. Cheating, shameless self-promotion, sabotage…I love those kids!"

"You said they were washed up," Chef accused.

"That was before they set off on an unforgettable come back adventure," he then wiped a tear away.

"But wait," Blaineley asked, "Who are the mysterious four assistants who are joining them on their quest."

"Oh yeah," Chris suddenly pulled out several files, "The originally won your contest to come and see the Gemmy awards. Since they wanted to see the TD crew win, they stuck around after we left them out in the cold, and they stuck around to help them."

"First up we have Jonathon O'Leary," Suddenly Jonathon's picture appeared on screen, "a paraplegic since birth, most thought he would not survive the first few years of his life. Somehow, he did, and only once since has he come close to death. On once cold November morning in 2000, when he was six, he fell into a cold lake, and nearly died from frostbite. He eventually recovered, becoming well after his old Irish Catholic Parent's favorite team, the Notre Dame Fighting Irish, beat rival USC to finish off a very successful regular season. Ever since, Jonathon has decided to make the most out of his life, since he believes that he was given a second chance by God in life. This has also led to an irrational fanaticism when it comes to those who insult his Catholic faith, or his Fighting Irish."

"Next we have Zach Jackson," Zach's picture replaced Jonathon's, "No one knows much about him. While possessing incredible test scores, he rarely speaks, in class, rather handing the teacher written answers. This apparently means that he is a mute. Other than this, not much is known about Zach."

"Third," Danielle's picture appeared, "We have Danielle Takeo. Smart, cute, and polite, she would seem to be every young man's dream girl. She just has three problems. Her first problem is her stutter, which has made her a mocking point for the more popular girls in her class. Her second are her traditional Japanese parents, who will only take the best there is to be her boyfriend. And the final piece of the puzzle is that she has already interest in someone, but she did not reveal who. Looks like we will have to get that out of her later."

"And finally," Paul's picture covered Danielle's, "We have Paul Johnson. He is seemingly a Noah clone, intelligent and sarcastic. However, he is far more easily angered by things than Noah is, actually tries on his tests. He is also on the football team, though he is not a starter. He actually joined this adventure only because the Dirtbags bus ran over his car."

"Chris!" Blaineley shouted, "We have just have gained a feed from inside the bus!"

* * *

"I told you that these guys were gossip worthy," Sierra said, as she walked by sleeping cast members. Somehow, Danielle had managed to find a seat net to D.J., leaving her with a very large smile for some reason. As Sierra walked back, it showed many more cast members still sleeping.

"Doesn't this jalopy go any faster?" Courtney screamed from the driver's seat.

"Um," Jonathon muttered, "Don't you think you should let Paul drive?"

"Why the new guy?" Heather asked. Gwen pointed to the teen, who was currently throwing darts at a picture of the members of Total Drama Dirt-Bags. The fact that he had accurately hit the crotch of every single member did not help give him a sane appearance. He giggled when he landed his second on Alejandro's crotch, before the giggle became a full blown cackle, causing the five in front to stare at him. While Duncan, Gwen, Courtney, and Heather moved away in fear, Izzy licked her lips for some reason.

"Oh now," Beth groaned, "I think I'm going to be bus sick."

"Not on my new upholstery!" Mama shouted in anger, while Leshawna marveled.

"Wow Mrs. M," the gangsta laughed, "You are something else!"

Mama suddenly looked up at Owen, who was stuffing something in an overhead compartment. "What are you doing boy!"

"Um," Owen mumbled, "Nothing."

He was proven to be a liar when suddenly a large pile of caramels fell out of the compartment.

"What are you doing with those caramels," Momma asked irritably, "Is my food not good enough?"

"I just keep a stash for after workouts," Owen explained.

"Hey guys," they all turned to see Bridgette looking out a window, "I can see the Dirt Bag bus!"

"Get closer!" Harold ordered, "I learned some battle tactics at summer camp."

"So what first," Paul asked in a frenzy, "Cut out their gallbladders, or tear out their hair!"

All those in the bus just stared at him with strange looks.

"Neither!"

"Aw poop," Paul sat in his chair quietly.

Courtney stepped on the pedal, allowing them to overtake the Dirt Bag bus. When the Cast cheered as they got in front, Harold thought about phase two.

"If only we had a catapult," Harold offered, "Like a bra."

"Yeah," Noah chuckled, "Brilliant."

"You have any better ideas?" Gwen asked in anger.

"Here's a bra!"

Suddenly, a large pink bra was thrown onto Noah's head. The others turned to see Leshawna fixing her shirt.

"What,' the large woman asked, "Haven't you ever seen a big bra before?"

Gwen then ran to the back of the bus, and opened the back door. At the same time, the bra was tied down so it formed a slingshot. Tyler quickly placed several pounds of caramels in the bra, which they fired at the dirt bags, causing the opposing bus to skid out of control.

"Whoa!" Chris marveled, "It looks like our heroes are launching caramel flavored cannonballs!"

"Chris," Blaineley asked in amazement, "In your entire career, have you ever seen something so underhanded?"

"No," Chris said, again wiping a tear from his eye.

Suddenly, big foot stuck its head out the window in anger, only to be hit with caramels. After a few more volleys, the second bus began to slow down, giving the original cast an insurmountable lead. As they began to cheer, they were knocked over by turbulence. They all turned, and saw Duncan and Courtney had begun to make out. While this in itself was not a problem, Courtney had accidently let the bus drive off the road.

Courtney desperately tried to regain control of the bus. This accidently caused the wheels on the bus to fall off, meaning that regaining control of the bus was impossible. This was even worse than usual, because they were headed towards a giant cliff.

As Chef and Chris watched from the helicopter, Chris pulled out a giant pack of legal forms.

"Total Drama Inc. is not responsible for the sudden and brutal demise of their cast," he said quickly.

"Told you those would come in handy," Chef chuckled.

"We're going to die!" D.J. screamed, as the bus went over the edge.

"So Noah was Chris's assistant," Izzy finally realized, as Paul slapped his forehead.

The bus plummeted down the canyon, gaining speed as they almost hit the floor of the canyon. Just as they were about to crash, they stopped. Everyone looked at one another for a second.

"Huh," Izzy giggled, "out of gas."

"It doesn't work like that," Paul moaned, trying to wiggle out from under Owen, who had landed on him. Then, they began to feel the bus being lifted upward; they all looked up to see what had saved them.

"I hope Leshawna doesn't need her bra back," Gwen moaned, as the continued to fly into the sky. Before long, they were experiencing zero gravity, causing them all to float throughout the cabin.

"Being weightless is awesome!" Owen giggled.

"I feel like this all the time," Izzy cackled.

"I bet you do," Paul said, when suddenly a pile of vomit hit him in the face.

"Who did that!" Momma D.J. asked in irritation.

"I couldn't hold it any more," Beth explained, when suddenly, they began to fall again. This time, they were caught again near the bottom by the bra. Duncan skillfully climbed up the seat to the back door, and cut the over stretched piece of underwear. This caused the bus to finally land, before turning over and landing on its roof.

"I'm alive!" Owen shouted, getting up, "I'm alive!"

Noah, who had replaced Paul at the position under Owen, could not say the same thing. His body had been crushed when they had landed.

"Hm," Chef said with amazement, "their not dead."

"Yeah," Chris admitted, "But they could be hurt."

"Should we send for some help?" Chef asked.

Two seconds later, they both burst out laughing, flying away from the crash sight.

Back on the ground, the cast members had all escaped the downed bus. Geoff looked around, peeved at the situation.

"I came here to party," Geoff explained, "And this place is seriously lacking the partying vive. I'm going to go get help!"

"Hold it!" Paul shouted, as the Geoff's group turned to leave, "Haven't you ever heard about crashes in driver's ed. You are always supposed to stick with the vehicle, and never move from one place to another."

"Well," Geoff said irritably, "What are we supposed to do."

"I'm sure that Chris saw what happened, and is sending someone to rescue us, as we speak," Paul said with confidence. The cast members just looked at one another for a moment.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" the roared, holding their sides.

"He hasn't watched the show," Gwen asked Jonathon, "Has he?"

"Nope," the handicapped boy said, "But he does bring up a good point. It is safer for us to just stay here, so no one should go out on a rescue party."

"So," Paul said as he looked around, becoming annoyed, "Are we really in New York, because I don't ever remember New York State having a desert."

"Don't blame me," Courtney growled, "I was just following the dirt bag bus!"

* * *

It had already been a whole day since the bus had crashed into canyon. They had all slept over night, and attempted to rest. Many were getting agitated, and since it had been a day since Owen's last meal, no one liked the look he was giving them. Suddenly, a wonderful smell overcame them, and they were D.J. cooking a bowl of something.

"Alright," Owen shouted, "Time for some grub!"

"It's made from tumble weed," D.J. explained, as he poured some into Owen's mouth. This caused the fat boy to cringe.

"You don't like it?"

"No, no," Owen said, before vomiting back into the pan.

"I would kill for a hamburger right now," Paul moaned.

Suddenly, they heard the sound of a chopper, and turned up into the sky, to see Chris and Chef lowering a giant magnet onto the bus. As it clinked to the bus, lifting it several feet off the ground, the group cheered.

"I'm not called the best reality host ever for nothing!" Chris declared, as they began to board the bus. As soon as everyone had loaded up, the bus was lifted out of the canyon, and into the wild blue yonder.

* * *

After three hours of flying, they had landed at the set of Total Drama Action. They were sitting in the mess tent, waiting for Chris to explain what was going on. Suddenly, Alejandro came out, and placed a gaint plate of pancakes on the table, which were all gobbled up by the delicious food stuffs.

"I have an announcement to make;" Chris said, "Now we all know that no one does drama like you guys."

"Duh," Heather shouted, "But what happened to Total Drama Dirt Bags?"

"It was a trick!" they all turned to see Alejandro seething, "There never was a Total Drama Dirt Bags!"

"Is that true?" Heather then asked the host.

"Well mostly," Chris said, "I did come up with the name."

"The name was awful!" Paul shouted.

"Quiet you!" Chris then turned back to the rest of the cast, "I needed to find out if you kids still had it."

"What about Alejandro?" Gwen asked irritably.

"A dupe, just like the rest of you," Chris said, while noggying the Goth, "I needed someone on the inside. But, to make it up, I told him he could join you all on season three."

"What season three?" Noah asked.

"A race around the world in one giant jet," Chris laughed.

"After all the crap you have put us through," Gwen said with irritation, "What makes you think we'll come along for another season."

"What about one million dollars?"

The entire group cheered, until they heard a cough. Paul was standing next to the exit o the tent.

"Okay guys," Paul said, referencing his friends, "time to go."

"What," Jonathon asked, "Why?"

"We can't go," Paul pointed out, "We have no contracts, no way to tell our parents where we are, and we will probably not win, thus meaning we will humiliate ourselves for nothing. Besides," he looked down in anger, "We still need to find a way to fix my car."

"How about this," Chris said, "If you go, we will contact your parents, and fix your car."

"Come on Paul," Jonathon said.

"Please," Danielle said while getting big Bambi eyes. This finally melted his stance, and he sighed.

"Fine," he said to his friends, "We can play."

"Yes!" Jonathon and Danielle shouted, while Zach threw his arms up in the air, holding a sign that said "Hell Yeah!"

* * *

**Jonathon:** Alright, I have a chance to in a million dollars! And don't worry my fellow Irish fans, I will dominate this game, and use that money for something useful. Like college…or Notre Dame season tickets.

**Courtney:** Looks like we're back for another season. And I will be keeping a much closer eye on Gwen. I so don't trusting that boyfriend stealer.

**Danielle:** I p-plan to compete-e with dignity and gr-grace. Like my uncle J-jack says, those who compete-te without hon-honor, lose with-without honor. I will al-always keep something in-inspirational (suddenly taps her chin) I wonder wh-what D.J. uses as in-inspiration.

**D.J.:** You ready to win this thing Momma.

**Momma:** (Sitting next to D.J.) We better, we have to buy a new house and bus.

**D.J.:** Yes Momma. (D.J. slouches)

**Momma:** (Slaps the back of his head) Don't slouch!

**Katie:** I can't beleive we're back!

**Sadie:** Me neither!

**Together:** !

**Geoff:** Wow, if Paul hadn't stopped me, I wouldn't be competing for another million dollars right now (Raises fist up into the air) Thanks bro! I need to tell Bridge this quickly.

**Justin:** Wow, a world wide tour. What a perfect chance to show off my hot bod to the world.

**Bridgette and Geoff:** (Making out)

**Noah:** (Sees lipstick on window) Geoff and Bridgette were in here before me, weren't they?

**Gwen:** You know what they say, third time lucky! This could be my season.

**Eva:** I'm back, and this time, I am going to win!

**Alejandro:** Watch out Total Drama Nerds, (He points at himself) The new guy is going all the way to the top.

(Suddenly, the door opens)

**Paul: **(Outside) Excuse me, were you the one who drove the Dirt Bag bus?

**Alejandro:** Yeah?

(A baseball bat suddenly swings down and hits him on the head)

**Paul:** (Sitting in front, with an unconscious Al sitting propped up against the wall.) That is what happens when you piss me off. (Turns back, and his eye's widen when he sees the camera) Oh crap, they were filming this! I really need to watch the first two seasons. But there is one thing that this jerk over here said right, a new guy is going to the top, but that new guy is me!

**Zach:** (Writing down something on a piece of paper, before turning it around, revealing a "Hell Yeah" to the audience while he grins.")

**Bridgette and Geoff:** (Making out…again. Now we see the battery light dimming, and after a few seconds, the entire scene frizzes out)

* * *

Chris was walking next to a large plane, one twice the size of a normal plane. Not only did it appear to be in bad shape, but it also had Chris's portrait on the side.

"Twenty-eight teens," Chris began, "One dutiful Momma, a trip around the world for a million dollars. What else could you ask for?"

"How about music?" Chef asked, dressed in a flight attendant's outfit.

"Yeah," Chris thought, "Everybody is doing the music thing now."

"Yeah!" they heard Paul shout, "And suck at it! Damn you Zach Effron!"

"Sure, and music," Chris said happily, "see you next time on Total Drama: The Musical!"

"That name sucks!"

"Quiet you!" Chris shouted, "Okay, how about Total Drama World Tour!"

"Better!"

"Everybody's a critic," Chris said, as the screen faded.

* * *

AN: And there goes part two. I hope you all have enjoyed this story as much as I have.

I start school tomorrow, so I hope you realize these chaps will come slower. Please continue to enjoy this story, as it has been dwelling with me for a long time.

I hope you realize that the added campers mean more places to stop, so please also look forward to such locations as India…Brazil…and a very special town in the US that is not as jaded as the writer's idea of Area 51. Seriously, aliens.

Until next time, Aloha!

Oh yeah, and rember, her real name isn't Blaineley!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I only own My OC's Jonathon, Zach, Danielle and Paul.

Max3833 presents…

Total Drama World Tour: 2.0

* * *

"Season three of Total Drama," Chris announced, as he stood on a runway, "The world is gonna be mine, sea to shinning sea!"

"Worst reference ever!"

"Quiet you!" He then turned back to the camera, when suddenly, the bus pulled up next to him, "Unfortunately, I will be forced to share my world with a traveling freak show. They will travel all around the globe competing for another million dollars!"

"Fist we have Courtney," the competitors walked off the bus when their names were called, "Duncan, Heather, Gwen, Leshawna, Katie and Sadie."

When they stopped walking, Gwen accidently ran into Heather, who stopped suddenly.

"Are there reserved seats?" Gwen asked, "Because I really would like to have mine on the opposite side of the plane from her."

"Oh ha ha," Heather fake laughed.

"Lindsey," said beautiful girl floated a kiss to the camera as she walked off, "D.J., Trent, Owen and Harold!"

When the last four didn't walk off, Chris looked surprised. "Um," he said with apprehension, "Guys?"

D.J. finally walked off, holding Owen in a vice grip. Owen was busy mumbling horrible things at the kindly linebacker.

"He's afraid of flying," D.J. pointed out, "Remember?"

"Aerophobia," Harold explained, as he and Trent walked off onto the runway, "From the Latin, instead of Aeronausophobia, fear of air sickness."

"Wow," Noah said as he walked off the bus, "keep up with the interesting facts, and I will be aeronauso, all over you!"

"And returning favorites, Noah," Noah moved on as his fellow contestants walked off the bus, "Cody, Eva, Justin, Beth and…"

"Yo," Ezekiel said as he hopped onto the bottom step of the bus, "This year's winner is in the house! Hey," he looked around in confusion, "Where's the plane, eh?"

"I know," Izzy said happily, as she jumped on Zeke's shoulders, "right?" This accidently caused both of them to hit the pavement with a thud.

"Yep, Izzy is back," Chris announced, "Also returning is Tyler," who made an Olympic pose, before tripping over the fallen teens, "And hosts of Total Drama Aftermath, Geoff and Bridgette!" They both walked out together, participating in there forever continuing game of tonsil hockey. So they were unable to notice the great pile up in front of them, and they too tripped, and landed in the great heap.

"Yo Chris," Ezekiel said, "You forgot to introduce me."

"Fine," Chris seethed, "And Ezekiel," his smile suddenly returned, "And to keep things fresh, we will be including a grand total of seven new contestants. He's an honor roll student with a diplomat for a dad, and an amazing ability to charm the pants off most species, Alejandro!"

The handsome Spanish man walked off the bus, with sunglasses mostly covering his eyes. He took them off, and reached down to the pile. "Perhaps I can assist you," Al said, as he reached Bridgette's hand, and lifted her and Izzy up. This had the adverse affect of making them stand on top of their fallen friends.

"Oh wow," Izzy mumbled.

"I-I-I," Bridgette stuttered, "have a boyfriend."

Al then reached down to the other three currently on the ground. "Allow me amigos," he said, as they got up as well. Geoff, smiling at the Spanish guy, happily shook his hand.

"I like girls," Tyler declared, as he and the others moved into the main group.

"And our second contestant is a sugar addicted girl with 16 Total Drama blogs. Please welcome, Sierra," Sierra stepped off happily.

"Oh my gosh," she said as she rushed off, "I love you guys! This is the greatest day ever!"

"This one should seem familiar," Chris continued, "Because then next new contestant is actually the mother of our good friend D.J. Welcome, Momma D.J.!"

"I have a name!" the older woman shouted, as D.J. helped her walk down the steps of the bus. As the others stared at her when she walked up to the group, she glared at them. "Staring is rude!"

"Next we have one our four American friends," Zach walked off the bus, "He has perhaps the most mysterious past of all our contestants, but only because he can't talk about his past. Please welcome our mute friend, Zach!"

"Next we have our second handicapped contestant," Chris smirked as he saw Jonathon fall down the stairs, leaving him in a heap as the others tried to get him back in his chair, "He is incredibly intelligent, but he is unable to even beat a set of stairs, Jonathon."

"Curse you Chris Mclean," Jonathon moaned as Geoff and Duncan lifted him back into his chair.

"Next we have our final new female," Danielle poked her head out from the bus, before slowly walking out and waving to the camera, "She is as cute as a button, and as sharp as a needle, Danielle!"

"Why hello senorita," Alejandro greeted the shy girl, grabbing her hand as he stood on one knee, "How may I assist you?"

"Um-m," She stuttered, embarrassed, "I'm-m fine, b-but thank you."

"And finally," Chris suddenly grumbled under his breath, "The most annoying, loud, cynical, and totally jerk-faced contestant we have ever had, Paul!"

"It takes one to know one," Paul countered, as he finally left the bus. As he walked off, he noticed a gaint shadow appear. He pointed behind the contestants, who all turned and stared in amazement as a giant plane drove into view. While huge enough to give them comfortable living space, it did not appear to be in good condition.

Scratch that, it was in awful condition. The turbines spewed huge clouds of smoke, their were visible holes in some parts of the hull that were only covered by weak looking pieces of wood, and in the pilot's seat was Chef. In fact, the only thing that was new was a gaint painting of Chris in a pilot's cap.

"Um Chris," Courtney raised her hand, "I would like to express some concerns about the safety of this plane."

"What are you talking about?" Chris asked, "This plane is perfectly safe."

He was proven wrong when one piece of the plane came off, revealing a raccoon chasing a rat. "Yeah," Paul growled, "About as safe as wrestling a heavy weight Mixed Martial Artist with your hands tied behind your back."

"No way," Owen said, "Call the United Nations! Call the Police! Call my Mom! I won't do this! I-"

His babbling was stopped when, in a fit of annoyance, Chris had pulled out a frying pan, and gone rabid on Owen's head. As Owen fell to the ground in a heap, he turned back to the others, who were staring at him in shock.

"Anyone else have a problem with it?" Chris asked angrily.

"No!"

"I'm fine!"

"This plane looks great!"

"Good," Chris said, as he began to board the plane. Paul turned back to Gwen, who was standing beside him.

"Does he do this a lot?" Paul asked.

"Oh yeah."

"Now boarding," Chris shouted from the door into the plane, "A trip for a million big ones. We're giving you a front row seat for all the action, right here on Total Drama," he sang the last part, "World Toooouuurrr!"

"Seriously," Paul and Duncan asked in irritation.

* * *

(Suddenly, cameras start popping out of everywhere around the plane, in the luggage, from the engine, and on the runway. Finally, a man clicks the clapperboard down. The camera then rushes through the plane. Chris, in fear, jumps out of the way, as it goes through the cockpit, with Chef staring strangely at it)

_Hey Mom and Dad I'm doing fine!_

(Jonathon is being pushed by a giant train as it travels down the tracks in a major dessert. Unbeknownst to him, Zach is fighting a tall older man with a knife with a top hat. Finally, after knocking the mad man down, he pulls the break)

_You guys are on my mind!  
_

(This accidently sends Jonathon flying, sending him into a lake, where Owen greets him. Unfortunately for the boy, Owen is naked, causing him to scream. Katie and Sadie are seen then seen jet skiing above them, waving at a sun bathing Justin before they accidently collide with the rocks)

_You asked me, what I wanted to be-_

(Harold is performing martial arts on top of a hut, before he is hit with a paddle, courtesy of Duncan, who is going down river in a boat with Courtney. They suddenly hit something, and both are shocked to see Sierra looking around, as she dips beneath the surface)

_Well I think the answer is plain to see!_

(Trent is singing along, as he is driven down the streets of New York by Gwen and Geoff, who are looking at each other strangely)

_I wanna beeeeee-famous!_

(The three suddenly collide with another car, sending them up into the air, landing in a stadium, where Paul, wearing a green and white jersey number 99, hands them some food, when suddenly, a football falls into Gwen's hands, spilling her soda and popcorn over the four)

_I wanna live close to the sun!  
_

(Alejandro is helping lift Heather onto the head of the stature of liberty, and his teeth sparkle when he smiles)

_Oh pack your bags, cause I've already won!_

(Tyler is pushing a baby carriage with Danielle in it. Suddenly, Tyler trips over Ezekiel, causing Danielle to fall off the Statue)

_Everything to prove, nothing in my way!_

(D.J. catches Danielle bridal style, but is upset when he is scolded by his mother. Danielle momentarily glares at Momma, but ends up comforting D.J.)

_I'll get there one day!_

(Lindsey is looking at a picture of Tyler, while Cody tries to explain it to her. Suddenly, they are both sent running by a gaint polar bear)

_Cause I wanna beeeeeee-famous!_

(Izzy takes of the head of the bear, revealing it to be a costume. Suddenly a baby seal latches on to the costume's arm, sending Izzy also running. Then we go to the Ocean, where both Eva and Bridgette are surfing. When Bridgette turns to wave at the camera, both she and Eva collide, sending them into the water)

_Na Na Na Na Na Na Na 'Na Na Na Na Na__Na Na__Na Na Na_

(Beth, Leshawna and Noah are walking across the street, but are forced to duck when the plane flies too low. Suddenly, all the contestants are standing in a giant human pyramid on top of the plane. They are all singing the theme, kicking their legs into the air, apparently part of the spectacle)

_I wanna be! _

(They pass Big Ben)

_I wanna be!_

(They pass Paris, where a mime watching the plane loses his croissant)

_I wanna be famous!_

(They pass a gaint rock in Australia, blowing one huge boulder off the formation)

_I wanna be!_

(Paul and Izzy stand on top of the pyramid, Paul desperately trying to get the crazy girl to let go of his hair as she sat on his shoulders)

_I wanna be!_

(Trent, Cody, Duncan, Heather, Courtney and Bridgette all glare at Gwen and Geoff, who seem oblivious to it as they look at one another)

_I wanna be famous!_

(D.J. is hit by a stray seagull, causing Danielle, who is dancing next to him to look in horror. Chef, hearing the song wind down, does a barrel roll, causing all the contestants to fall. Luckily, they all have parachutes, which they use to allow themselves to land. They all land peacefully, except Zeke, who crashes into the ground, though only Paul and Noah seem to care)

(Whistling I wanna be, I wanna be famous!)

* * *

"And were back," Chris said.

"Where did we go?" Paul asked.

"Theme song," Gwen explained, "But seriously, singing, I thought Chris was joking about that."

"I don't care," Courtney pointed out.

"Yeah," Leshawna rebuked, "Cause you like singing."

"Well I don't," Duncan said with anger, "Girls sing! Birds Sing! Pretty boy Disney channel stars sing! Duncans do not sing!"

"Think I'll get to beat box?" Harold asked.

"I'll beat you if you try," Duncan threatened as he waved his fist at Harold, causing all the others to step back.

"Why are you doing this to us?" Heather asked in irritation.

"Because he is a sadistic asshole," Paul said.

"True," Chris answered, "But singing reality shows are also a hit and also, the worse the singing, the higher the ratings, which is why on this show, there will be no rehearsal, no vocal coaches, and no warning!"

This caused all the contestants to grumble.

"Any who," Chris continued, "This is the dining area," he motion to three long tables with seats up against them, "Where you will enjoy in flight meals."

"Not for long, eh," Ezekiel said, "Prepare to lose to the Zeke!"

"Okay," Gwen said, putting her hand on his shoulder, "So not trying to be mean, but you de realize you went first last time."

"Yep," Zeke said.

"So wouldn't that mean it is a good idea for you to shut up?" Paul asked, "Since you really don't want to deal with that for two seasons in a row."

"No way," Zeke said, "I can't lose; I am stronger, faster, and smarter."

"Not to mention chattier," Chris began in annoyance, "blabbier, can't-shut-up-ier!"

"Is there a ladies room?" Leshawna asked.

"Sure," Chris said, pointing backwards.

"Thanks," Leshawna said, walking by him, "Cause I need to make a deposit."

* * *

**Leshawna:** (Sits down, only to see camera) there is a camera in the bathroom again? Ugh, can't a sister get a little privacy on this program?

* * *

"Losing teams will enjoy luxurious economy class accommodations, where losing teams will stay between destinations," Chris said as he took the team through said class, which was anything but luxurious. The entire place was covered in dirt, and from pipes in the ceiling, water was dripping on the floor.

"Have you ever heard of a plumber," Momma said with irritation, "Because this place sure needs it? And a maid. And a blacksmith to fix those holes," she said while pointing at some large groups of wood, which were clearly bad attempts to clog large gaps in the plane.

"Okay," Lindsey said, looking around, "Where are our beds?"

"Owen," Chris addressed the unconscious large teen, who was strapped to the wall by two seatbelts, leaving him sleeping in an upright position that did not look comfortable.

* * *

"This," Chris said, as he and the campers stood in a much larger and wide open cabin, "Is the first class cabin. The domain of each challenge's winners."

The entire place looked like a luxury plane. There were large comfy seats, a couch, and a small bar. Many of the contestants tried to enjoy what they could for the moment, knowing that their fun would soon come to an end.

"Now this," Alejandro said to Lindsey, "is the type of accommodations that a lady deserves."

Both Paul and Heather glared at Al, not trusting him at all.

"That guy," Commented D.J., "Is as smooth as Momma's gravy."

"He sure is," Momma agreed as she sat back in her chair.

"Lindsey is supposed to like me," Tyler stated.

"Ha," Momma chuckled, "No one can compete with gravy."

* * *

**Heather:** I can see right through that guy. (Suddenly is shown to be sitting in cockpit next to Chef) Hey, this extra confessional is really convenient.

**Chef:** Maybe for you, I'm trying to prep for a flight.

**Heather:** Shush! Any way, Al is so transparent, so fake, so…

**Chef:** Deliciously seductive?

**Heather:** That is the exact opposite of what I was trying to say.

**Chef:** Pretty good looking guy to boot. (Turns around) Just saying.

**Heather:** Forget this!

(Back in toilet)

**Paul:** If that Spanish bastard thinks that a few kind gestures will get him off the hook for ruining my car, he has another thing coming. (As he mutters angrily, Izzy sticks her head down from the vent, and giggles perversely while looking at Paul) Hey, ever get the feeling that you were being watched?

**Izzy:** Yeah, I think Paul's cute. What with his homicidal leanings, and pure intelligence, he would be an excellent catch. Of course, I have Owen, so it's not like I will do anything to go after him. (Gives camera a strange look) Or will I?

* * *

"Whoa," Cody marveled as they walked into the final room, "Where are we now?

"My room," Chris said irritably, trying to remove the campers from his hot tub, "Now get out of there."

"Oh Chris," Sierra giggled.

* * *

**Heather:** (Back in bathroom) Any way, with Beth gone, and Lindsey in the firm control of Al, that leaves my alliance options down to Sierra. (Looks down sadly) I am doomed.

* * *

"Well that's about it, other than the storage area and the galley," Chris said, as the contestants were sitting around the mess hall, "of course I am sure you all remember a little something called the eliminations ceremony."

Suddenly, he pulled out several worn out looking bags, "You will receive a barf bag filled with airline issue peanuts-"

"I have a peanut allergy," Ezekiel pointed out.

"You will be forced to take the drop of shame," Chris suddenly grabbed Zeke's shirt, "Kinda like this." Suddenly, Zeke found himself falling to the runway.

"Hey!" Ezekiel shouted, as he chased after the plane, "Slow me down and let me back in!"

"All eliminations are final bro!" Chris waved to the prairie boy as he closed the door.

* * *

It had already been six hours since they had taken off for their first destination, and all the campers were bored out of their minds. They had no idea where they were going, and they also hadn't seen Chris for a while, meaning something evil was in the works.

**Ding**

Suddenly, Chris moon walked out from his quarters, wearing a bowler hat and suit. He then removed the hat, and laughed.

"Every time you here that friendly little bell," Chris chuckled, "It's music time. So, let's here it."

"But," Courtney murmured, "What are we supposed to sing?"

"You have to come up with it yourself," Chris smiled, "It is harder when you don't have lyrics at your disposal."

"_Up," Courtney sang._

"_Up," Izzy added._

"_Up," Sierra continued._

"_Up!" Lindsey finished._

"_Sing," Harold began._

"_Sing," Cody continued._

"_Sing," Said D.J._

"_Sing." Tyler concluded._

_The girls, minus Gwen, then sang, "Were flying!"_

_The guys, minus Duncan, then added, "Were singing!"_

_They all then sang together, "Were flying and were singing!"_

"_Come fly with us!" Danielle sang as she pushed Jonathon down the aisle, "Come fly with us!"_

"_Got a lot of crazy tunes to bust!" Izzy shouted from an overhead compartment._

"_Come fly with us," Bridgette then continued, stepping up on a chair._

"_Come fly with us," Lindsey continued._

"_It is a pleasure," Al sang, as he grabbed them both by the hand, and pulled them down next to him, which caused Bridgette to blush, "And an honor, and a must!"_

"_Dudes!" Duncan shouted, "This is messed up, your singing in a plane!"_

"_What did you expect," Paul pointed out, "The host is beep-ing insane!"_

"_Yeah," Gwen then said, "But guys, your singing on TV!"  
_

"_Haven't you always wanted to," Courtney sang, as she danced around the goth with pride, "It can't just be me!"_

"_It is!" Paul shouted, before looking at the camera, "I…hope we go to Cadiz?"_

"It counts," Chris said.

_Ezekiel suddenly pulled himself up into the cargo hold, far away from the campers, though he still heard their song. He then sang, "They thought they could leave me, and depart, but this guy has winning in his heart."_

Noah then looked out the window in fear.

"_Come fly with us," he sang, "come die with us!"  
_

"_Come fly with us," Geoff, Courtney, Cody, and D.J. sang to Gwen and Duncan, who stood steadfast, "Come fly with us."_

"Do you want to have a copy of the rules," Chris suddenly pulled out a large pile of papers, "Because, to avoid elimination…"

_Bridgette stole the paper, and sang, "All contestants must sing in each show!"  
_

"_Come on Duncan," Courtney sang, "Let's go!"_

"_Come on Gwen," Cody sang, "please don't say no!"_

"_I don't want to leave," Gwen said, "Come fly with us!" Come fly with us! Come fly with us!"  
_

_Duncan sighed._

"_This sucks!"  
_

"_Oh yeah!"_

"Thank god that is over!" Paul shouted, as he grabbed a frying pan, and hit Chris over the head, "Now mister cameraman, please go to commercial while I draw embarrassing things on Chris's face."

* * *

Chris had finally woke up, and he was sitting down on the bench. Suddenly, they all heard the intercom blaze on.

"Enough singing, fruitcakes!" Chef shouted, "We are now beginning our descent into Egypt, so strap yourself in," he then grumbled, "Musical numbers, stupid Chris doesn't have an original bone in his body," he then looked down at the microphone, "Uh oh, the intercom was still on."

* * *

They had finally landed in their first visit, Egypt, and the contestants all were standing just outside the plane. Suddenly, Chris, sitting on a giant chair dressed like a Pharaoh, and carried by two half-naked interns.

"Wow," Chris taunted the contestants and interns with a cool looking drink, "It's a scorcher out here. Let's get to today's challenge," Chris then looked over at the pyramid, "I call this one, pyramid, over and under!"

"Hey Chris!" Paul shouted.

"What Paul," Chris growled.

"How is landing that thing here legal?" Paul pointed back at the plane.

"Don't worry," Chris said, "I sent some interns to the government to get the okay. They never came back, but I decided to go along with it anyway."

* * *

Intern tied up in a dungeon. He stares at the camera, only to shriek as he see's a large Egyptian man walk into the room.

"Okay," the guard said, "Let us get ready for the cattle prod!"

* * *

"Alright," Chris explained, "Pyramid over-under means that you get to pick how you get through the pyramid, either over, or under. Alright everybody understand?"

They all nodded.

"Okay, ready, set…"

"Wait up yo!"

They all turned to see Ezekiel slide right behind them.

"I told you that I was in it to win it!"

Chris looked at Zeke strangely, "Didn't we leave you in Halifax, or Whitehorse…or something?"

"It was Ottawa you idiot!"

"God I hate that guy," Chris seethed.

"It's called landing gear homie," Ezekiel explained, "I climbed it and hid in the luggage!"

"Wow," Chris said with surprise, "That is…impressive," his smile turned to a frown, "Your still out dude!"

"No way!"

"Fine," Chris chuckled, before banging together two symbols, "It's your funeral."

All the contestants ran to the pyramid, taking either of the routes.

* * *

(Inside)

"Aw great," Noah groaned as he and the others who had gone inside walked into a room with three pathways, "Our friendly neighborhood host failed to tell us about this."

"Hey Sierra," Heather shouted, "Which way do you think we should go?"

"Me?" Sierra said, "Well…um…"

"How do we know which way is right?" Owen asked with confusion.

"Oh, you lick your finger, and hold it up to see the air flow!" Izzy said, "So D.J.," she turned to the gentle giant, "Your up!"

"Don't do it," Leshawna said, leading herself, D.J., Harold, Momma D.J., and Geoff down the middle path, which had a scarab picture on top.

"Well I'm going this way," Justin reasoned, as he led Katie, Sadie, Cody, Heather, and Sierra down the path with the sacred symbol on it.

"Oh," Izzy said, "Let's do the mummy door."

Reluctantly, Eva, Noah, Owen, Beth, and Paul followed her.

* * *

**Paul:** Okay, I know what your think! What the hell is he doing following crazy pants! Well, I have a theory. The obstacle you face depends on which route you take. And since mummies don't exist, I don't have to worry about that. And, I do know scarab beetles exist. Yuck! Nasty little buggers!

* * *

Bridgette, Lindsey, Tyler, Trent, and the remaining three new comers stared up at the pyramid, all wowed by its size.

"Is it too late to go under?" Tyler asked.

"Look at Alejandro, he's doing okay," Lindsey looked up to see Alejandro jumping gracefully up the giant steps of the pyramid, "He's like the cutest mountain goat ever."

Alejandro jumped down, and offered Bridgette and Lindsey a hand, "May I be of assistance?" he asked, before lifting them up the pyramid.

"Hey Lindsey!" Tyler shouted after his girlfriend, "Don't go, I can be a mountain goat to!"

"I should probably make sure he doesn't hurt himself," Trent said as he followed the jumpsuit-ed teen up the steps of the pyramid.

"Well guys?" Jonathon said, "How am I supposed to do this. I can only go through the under part, yet you insisted on going to over."

"N-not over," Danielle said, as she calmly began to turn a corner of the pyramid, "Around."

"Oh," Jonathon said with understanding, before turning to Zach, "Why did no one else think of that?"

Zach simply shrugged.

* * *

Duncan cringed as Courtney tied a rope between them.

"Rock climbing was a team building challenge when I was a CIT," she explained, "So my superior belay skills are going to win us this challenge."

"Hey Gwen!" Duncan shouted, noticing the Goth girl climbing the side of the pyramid, "You going over too?"

"Working on it!" Gwen replied.

"We should help her," Duncan offered.

"Fine," Courtney groaned, "But only because three in a group is stronger."

* * *

Izzy smiled as she saw a large pile of bandages lying in the middle of the floor.

"Oh," she squealed, "A nurse's office!"

"It's a pyramid," Noah groaned, "Not a high school."

"Costume Party!" she shouted, throwing the bandages into their hands, "Mummy me!"

"Isn't this kind of counter productive?" Paul asked.

"Just go along, wimp," Eva growled.

"Yeah," Beth said, patting Paul on the shoulder, "With Izzy, if she wants to do something, she rarely doesn't get it."

* * *

**Paul: **Why did I feel a chill up my spine?

* * *

"Lindsey!" Tyler shouted, as he reached up after his girlfriend, "Wait up!"

He got stung by a scorpion, which sent both he and Trent down the pyramid in a rather humorous way.

* * *

Sierra accidently stepped on a small lever, which sent dozens of spears flying through the air. The six all dodged the spears, and the others glared at Sierra intensely.

"Oops," she offered.

* * *

"And your form is appalling," Courtney concluded, as she lectured the Goth girl who was climbing beneath her.

"Oh thanks," Gwen shouted, "I was just wondering about that!"

"You know," Courtney growled, "You're only here because I'm being nice today!"

"Wow, this is you being nice?" she then shouted to Duncan, who was in front, "My apologies!"

Duncan sighed. Obviously, this had been going on for a long time, and it was starting to wear on his nerves.

* * *

"Hey," D.J. said as they ran through the inner maze of the pyramid, "It's a cute little dog."

"D.J." Leshawna shouted, "This is not the right time to be petting a stuffed dog!"

"Come on Devon," Momma scolded, "We need to get out of this place; it is horrible for your lungs in this stuffy old tomb."

D.J. began to walk with them, but then stopped, and turned back to the dog. "Hey little buddy," the big guy said sweetly, "I wish I had a treat to give ya." He then reached out, and petted the dog, which caused it to disintegrate. Suddenly, the entire pyramid began to shake, and giant beetles fell from the ceiling.

"Scarabs!" Harold shouted, as they all ran to the exit.

"Ya know," Geoff said, looking around as he ran, "This may be a bad time, but does anybody know where Bridge is?"

* * *

"Hm," Justin rubbed his chin, as he turned to Katie and Sadie, "I think we should leave Heather and the other two now."

"Why?" Katie asked.

"Because," Justin pointed out, "It's Heather, if we're on the same team as her, we will be gone in an instant."

"Maybe," Sadie began, "But Sierra will lead them to their…," Justin took off his shirt, "…whatever you say Justin."

* * *

**Justin:** I still got it!

* * *

"Izzy," Owen called, "Izzy!"

"Dude," Noah noted, "She's lost, we have to go."

"Oh man," Beth groaned, "Poor Izzy."

"Poor Izzy?" Paul asked, "She kept leading us in circles, all because she said she smelt something lucky. And that still doesn't explain why she was standing so close to me and breathing down my neck."

"That smell was me," Owen laughed, "Airplane food."

"This happens every episode," Paul asked Beth, "Doesn't it?"

"You catch on quick."

* * *

Currently, on top of the pyramid, stood Lindsey, Bridgette, and Alejandro. All three were looking down the pyramid's side.

"I can't carry you all down there," Al explained, "It's too steep."

Bridgette suddenly saw a continently placed sign next to her. Suddenly, a light bulb appeared over her head. With a great swiftness, she pulled the sign out. This accidently cause it to hit Tyler in the face, again causing him to fall, hitting Trent on the last step, and send them tumbling down the pyramid once more.

* * *

**Trent:** (Holding Ice Pack) Yeah, last time I team up with Tyler.

* * *

"Oh no you don't," Leshawna growled. They were currently in a foot race with Justin's team to take the lead in the race out the pyramid. In one final sprint, both groups raced out the door, and into the sun.

There, they saw Chris, still in Egyptian garb, standing at the finish line. They all breathed in for the final sprint. Suddenly, they heard a shouting behind them, and turned to see Al, Bridge, and Lindsey surfing down the side of the Pyramid on a road sign. How that is physically possible, don't ask me, but it was cool anyway.

"Alright Bridge!" Geoff shouted, as he stopped to sheer his girlfriend on. Just as the three surfers hit the ground, they lost their footing, which sent them all flying. Al landed on Justin and Harold, and Lindsey and Bridgette hit the min group, sending them across the finish line.

"Alright," Chris said, "Wicked ending for Team One, which has all ten members here."

"All ten members?" Leshawna asked. She was answered when Chris angrily pointed back at Danielle, Jonathon, and Zach.

"They went around," Chris seethed, "Which, while faster, was not interesting or funny at all."

Thus, the members of Team One were: Leshawna, Katie, Sadie, D.J., Momma, Lindsey, Bridgette, Danielle, Jonathon, and Zach. Then, as Geoff and Al attempted to go and join them, Chris stopped them.

"Sorry dudes," Chris explained, "But you are all on Team Two."

"What!" Geoff shouted, "But Bridge is on Team One."

"I know," Chris laughed, "But having you compete against your girlfriend will make for great ratings."

Thus, Geoff, Alejandro, Justin, and Harold all marched over to the Team Two (**Harold**-In Egyptian it's-**Chris**-Nobody cares Harold!) and waited for the rest of their teammates. Suddenly, they saw two forms descending the outside of the pyramid. But rather than simply walking, they were falling and tumbling like rag dolls.

"Well Al," Chris said, "If Harold, Geoff and Justin aren't enough consolation, you still have Tyler, Trent," Suddenly Beth, Owen, Noah, and Paul ran out screaming, "Ugly girl, fat guy, sarcastic guy, and the unholy ass will also be on your team."

"That," Alejandro said with apprehension, "Is great…"

* * *

**Alejandro:** #bleep# Que idiotas! #Bleep# Incompetentes! #bleep#!

* * *

"Finally," Heather groaned, as she, Cody, and Sierra finally exited the pyramid, before glaring at Justin, "And where in the world were you?"

"Don't blame me for your horrible sense of direction," Justin stated.

"Okay guys," Chris stated, "Get behind mat Three."

"Oh yes," Sierra squealed, "I'm on the same team as Cody!"

"Hey," Geoff noticed, "Wasn't Eva with you guys?"

"Yeah," Paul explained, "But she wanted to battle the two evil mummies, so we let her have her funeral."

"Funeral eh?" Eva asked, as she carried out both Izzy and Ezekiel, "I'll believe it when I see it."

"Okay Eva," Chris laughed, "Go take those two and join Team Three."

Eva walked up to team three, and glared at them all.

* * *

**Eva:** I remember who caused me to lose in the first season, and I am coming after you. You here me Heather!

**Paul:** (From outside) We all can!

**Eva:** (Punches through the door, and we hear an audible thud on the other side)

* * *

"Hey," Cody noticed, "Does anyone know where Gwen is?"

They all heard Courtney screaming at the top of her lungs, and looked up at the top of the pyramid. There, Duncan, Gwen and Courtney were glaring at one another, as Gwen and Courtney began to make very loud arguments about what they should do about the belay rope. Suddenly, Chris began to smirk.

**DING!**

"You here that kids!" Chris shouted into a megaphone, "I want a reprise about what you are feeling right now!"

"But we only have one song per episode!" Duncan shouted back.

"But this is a reprise," Chris explained, "Sing or you are out!"

"No you don't," Paul said, reading a booklet.

"What?"

"It says right here," Paul pointed to a specific part of the booklet, "That the host may only use a reprise if the song is unfinished. We finished the song correctly, so we only have to sing if we want to. In other word," He then took the megaphone, "Just ignore that freaking bell until next episode, and get your butts down here so we can finish making teams."

"Fine," Duncan then ran down the side of the pyramid, dragging the girls with him. Then, he stepped past the line, and stepped on the team three mat. Gwen struggled to get up, only to be offered a hand by Cody.

* * *

**Cody:** Girls on the rebound are the best! They cry, and then you get to buy them a pop and listen, and then…well, usually they go for some better looking guy, but still…you get to buy them a pop!

* * *

"Okay teams," Chris said, "you have three minutes to come up with your team name, while I enjoy this," he suddenly held up an, "Ice cream cone."

* * *

"Team Victory!" Team One shouted, as a small Trophy symbol appeared over their heads.

"Team Amazon!" Team Three shouted, as a small Female Symbol appeared over their heads, while Cody, Duncan and Ezekiel looked on in anger.

The members of Team Two continued to discuss their name. Finally, just as time was about to run out, "The Jets!" Paul shouted, as a blue symbol with a jet appeared on it, "What, it's good, and it has to do with the travel theme."

"Fine," Chris growled, "Here are the team rewards. Team Amazon, you get a camel!"

They all cheered as they grabbed said camel.

"The Jets get a goat."

Said Goat ran over and plowed Tyler.

"And Team Victory gets a stick!"

They all glared at Chris.

"Well that's one episode done, a whole bunch more to go. Tune in next time for the exciting end of Egypt. On Total Drama World Tour!"

* * *

AN: AND I am done! And my first week of school is done! yeah!

I hop you are enjoying this, because I seem to be hitting stride with the story, and I hope it continues to gain popularity. If you have any ideas, please submit them. I need help with new places to visit, since I am still going to have reward challenges.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I only own My OC's Jonathon, Zach, Danielle and Paul.

Max3833 presents…

Total Drama World Tour: 2.0

* * *

Last time on Total Drama World Tour, we dragged all of the teens on a world wide adventure spanning a summer and over twenty exotic locations. Our first stop was Egypt, where our three teams were formed. For Team Victory, there was D.J., his mother, Lindsey, Bridgette, Katie and Sadie, Leshawna, Danielle, Jonathon, and Zach. For The Jets, there was Paul, Alejandro, Beth, Geoff, Owen, Noah, Trent, Tyler, Harold, and Justin. And for Team Amazon: Eva, Courtney, Duncan, Ezekiel, Cody, Sierra, Izzy, Gwen, Heather.

Meanwhile, Alejandro used his personality and hot bod to get in close with several of the other girls, which makes him even cooler. Not to mention when I compare him to our other main new guy, Paul, who is a complete asshole.

"Says the jerk that makes us do this crap!"

God I hate him.

Anyway, who will win the first elimination challenge?

Who will be the first off?

And, can I find a way to keep Paul from making my life miserable?

Find out this and more on Total Drama World Tooooouuuuuuuuur!

(Theme)

"So," Leshawna glared at the host, "The team that came in first gets a stick, while last place gets a freaking camel? How is that fair?"

"You'll see," Chris explained, while sitting on some poor intern, "Now, get ready for your second challenge, the Amazing Camel Race!"

"That is both false and a rip off!"

"I hate you," Chris groaned, "I'll give you all five minutes to come up with a strategy, because you will have to find the Nile River, and considering it about," he then pointed off into the desert, "Two miles that way; you're going to need it."

"Move it people!" The Amazons turned to see Heather sitting on top of their camel, "It's a race."

"Whoever said you were in charge," Duncan growled, "Besides, this thing won't probably be able to hold all nine of us."

"Well then," Heather growled, "You, Zeke, and Cody will have to walk while we ride." She smirked, until she was suddenly ripped off by Eva.

"You are going to be walking too," Eva growled, which caused Heather to nod in fear.

* * *

**Heather:** Well what was I supposed to do? Say no?

* * *

"Alright," Izzy said as she climbed onto the camel's neck, "I get the neck! Ugh way! Ugh way!" she then turned to her teammates, "I just introduced myself in camel-ese."

"I bet you did," Gwen said, giggling slightly. Cody then climbed up next to her, sitting behind her. Gwen, of course, ignored him, waiting for the race to begin. As he tried to get on, Eva pushed him off, causing Duncan to laugh at his misfortune.

* * *

**Cody:** I'm fine. It's just a matter of time, and persistence, and humiliation. And I was born to be humiliated.

* * *

"We need no camel," Alejandro said, walking back in forth in front of The Jets, "We have each other."

"We're doomed," Paul moaned.

"Dude," Geoff patted the teen on the shoulder, "Relax, everything will turn out fine. No worries."

* * *

**Paul:** Okay, let's see who is on my team. Geoff, a chilling party guy, Tyler, a jock who even I am better at football than, Trent, some kind of weak musician, Owen, a fat guy, Noah, competent, but lazy, Beth, sweet but useless, Harold, a nerd with supposedly "Mad Skills," Justin, a washed up pretty boy, and that bastard Alejandro. I wouldn't be surprised if we were swept.

* * *

"What are we supposed to do with a freaking stick!" Leshawna shouted angrily, "I mean come on," she then swung the piece of wood around, "All you can do with this thing is use it as a club!"

"Stop that!" D.J. shouted, ripping it out of her hand, "You could hurt somebody with that thing," he then threw the stick into the air, only to here a whack, and see a seagull plummet to the Earth in a heap.

* * *

**D.J.:** Dude! First I destroy a mummified dog, and then I assault a bird, man, I love animals, this would never happen back home! (He then opens up the door, only to be hit with a pocket book)

**Momma:** Don't use slang Devon Joseph!

**Danielle:** O-one of the th-things I liked best about D.J. when-n I was wa-watching the show at home was his-s love of animals. I h-hope this do-doesn't be-become a running problem. B-but I'm sure D.J. will pull though. H-he is so soft and kind-d hearted, it's hard not to li-like him. N-not to men-mention he's c-clever, strong, talented-d, (Sighs giddily) handsome…o-oh crud, I for-forgot we were filming th-this. Please-e d-don't sh-show this!

* * *

"No!"

"But why not?" Alejandro asked, using his arms to show Paul Trent, Tyler, Owen, and Noah already stacked on a goat. Currently, it was Paul's and Geoff's turn to get on the ride.

"I will not be put on that death trap," Paul pointed, when suddenly the group fell, nearly crushing the goat.

"Maybe you have a point," Alejandro thought over, "But then what should we do."

"Obviously," Paul then tripped Owen, who fell to the ground on all fours, "We use Owen to transport us, considering he can probably carry all of us."

"Why do I not like this idea," Owen asked in fear, as they all began to pile onto his back, and he strained under their weight.

* * *

**Owen:** Man, I thought my workouts would make me strong, but to be able to carry them all! Wow.

**Tyler:** Well at least I don't have Owen on my back.

* * *

"Alright, time is up!" Chris said, sipping on his drink, "Now, get going," he then put his hand on his chin, "Oh yeah and watch out for the scarab beetles, it's mating season and the get all…kill-y, when they are in heat."

"Well I'm glad that there are none here right now, those things are nasty" Leshawna remarked, only for Paul to slap his forehead.

"I'll tell them you said that," Chris said; when suddenly Chef knocked over a gaint jar containing hundreds of the little bastards. They began to march out; covering the intern Chris was standing on, and then devouring him down to the bone. The monsters then turned their attention to the other teens, and charged towards the teams.

**DING!**

"Aw you have to be kidding me!" Eva growled.

"Afraid not," Chris replied, "Who knows, if you sing well, they might just not eat you."

"Oh well," Gwen sighed, as the scarabs began to close in on their camel, "So much for this life."

"Dudes," Geoff said, as he stood on top of Owen, tapping his foot, "Relax! Everything will be fine. Hakuna Matata!"

"Haku be waba?" Gwen asked in confusion, as all the teens stared at her in shock.

"No way," Sierra said with shock, "You haven't seen the Lion King? Oh man, I have to put this into my blog!"

"Well then," Geoff said, turning his hat around backwards, "I'll explain it to you…._Hakuna Matata, what wonderful phrase!"_

"No," Chris shouted, "That song has been copyrighted, if you sing it, I won't get paid!"

"Do it now!" The entire cast screamed, as Geoff again began to dance.

"_Hakuna Matata," He began again, more saying than singing, "What a wonderful phrase!"_

"_Hakuna Matata," Owen then chipped in, as he stood up, which caused his team to fall off, "Ain't no passing craze!"_

"_It means no worries," Geoff then continued, now actually singing, "For the rest of your days!"_

"_It's a problem free," D.J. then added, "…Philosophy!"_

"_Hakuna Matata!" Everyone, but Gwen and Duncan, once again being stubborn, shouted._

Paul looked over, and saw that the scarabs were recoiling, apparently from the song. He then realized an important key.

"Trent," he said, "I think I know a way we can beat these things…remember who sang this song in the movie?"

"Timon and Pumbaa?" Trent then realized what he said, "Yeah and they ate bugs, no wonder these scarabs hate it. But what happens when they realize we don't eat insects?"

"We have to have someone eat one," he then looked over at Owen, "He will do." He then grabbed Owen by the shoulder. "Hey dude, aren't you hungry?"

"Well I am a little puckish," Owen chuckled.

"Well then," Paul then motioned to the scarabs, "Bon appetite."

"_Hakuna Matata," Geoff continued, dancing around, spinning his arms around, along with Noah and Harold copying him, "What a wonderful phrase!"_

"I'm not sure," Owen said with disgust.

"_Hakuna Matata," D.J. then continued, as he Danielle, and Zach square danced, "Ain't no passing craze!"_

"They taste great," Paul said, reaching down and grabbing one of the scarabs, before throwing it into his mouth, "Um…" he had a look of disgust, before swallowing, "Slimy yet satisfying."

"_It means no worries," Justin added, "For the rest of your days!"_

"If you say so," Owen shrugged, before grabbing up and handful and throwing them into his mouth, "Um, just like chicken." He then began to chase them, as the bugs fled in horror._  
_

"_It's a problem free," Harold threw in, "…Philosophy!"_

"_Hakuna Matata," the cast shouted again._

The bugs continued to run, but they could not escape Owen. Each time he closed his mouth, a dozen or more scarabs met their doom. Before long, all of the scarabs had either fled or, more likely, been eaten by the bottomless pit.

"_Hakuna Matata," Courtney chanted._

"_Hakuna Matata," Cody then added._

"_Hakuna Matata," Ezekiel continued._

"_Hakuna!" Izzy sang at the top of her lungs._

"_It means no worries," Gwen finally sang, "For the rest of your days!"_

"It's a problem free," Duncan then added, "…philosophy!"

"_Hakuna Matata!" they all shouted together as Geoff pulled them both together._

"Hey look," Katie pointed at the ground, "All the scarabs are gone."

As the cast cheered, Chris seethed. "Do you know how much this is going to cost me?" He shouted angrily, "I'm going to be up to my ears in lawsuits by Disney, not to mention have to deal with those stupid producers."

He then saw Paul walk up to him, steal his Pharaoh hat, and vomit the remains of the first scarab into it. Paul, after vomiting, cringed, before handing the hat back to Chris, who threw it to the ground in anger.

* * *

**Chris:** I am going to lose so much hair gel over this.

**Gwen:** Yeah, I sang more willingly this time, but let's face it, that song is catchy, and besides, we got away from those things now. Like I said before, Geoff just brings out the party in people.

* * *

"Man," Lindsey groaned as she and her team continued to walk in the bareness of the desert, "How much longer is this gonna take?"

"Be quiet girl," Momma growled, "We are at least making good time. See, we are still right behind those Jets."

Yes, with out the ability to use the goat as transportation, the Jets were just barely keeping ahead by using Owen as their vehicle. They were using a scarab tied to a stick by string to get the big guy motivated. Team Amazon was still out pacing them greatly, for even though some of them and to walk, they were still helped along by the camel, which Duncan had tied a rope to, and they all were riding several thin pieces of wood to help sled them along the desert.

"This sucks," Jonathon groaned, "my chair doesn't move well in the sand, and I can barely keep up!"

"I know," Bridgette sighed, "And it's so darn hot out here, and were the only ones who don't have a vehicle."

"Well," D.J. said, "At least we can see the others." Suddenly, a giant gust of wind suddenly blew in front of them, kicking up a lot of sand, shrouding any view of the other teams. After a few seconds, the wind disappeared, and the other teams were gone.

"Oh come on!"

* * *

"So I have to ask," Alejandro said out of no where, as the Jets continued to make towards the Nile, unaware of the horrible situation that had befallen Team Victory, "Why did you choose the Jets as our title?"

"Oh that's easy," Paul chuckled, "So I can do this each time we win." He suddenly got up, and then shouted out, "J-" he suddenly made the letter J with his arms, "-E-" he did the same with an E, "-T-," Do I really need to tell you? "-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!"

The others stared at him strangely, noting his over excitement at simply spelling out their team's name.

"Oh yeah," Paul remembered, "Your Canadians, you wouldn't get the joke."

* * *

**Alejandro:** Ya know, he is really fighting with Izzy for that number one spot.

**Noah:** when I avoided having Izzy on my team, I thought I would escape the big nut job this season. I can see now that I was wrong. (Grabs camera) Help me!

* * *

"Hey," Cody noted as he pointed back at the Jets, "Were gaining ground, they won't be able to catch us!"

"Bye now," Heather said, "We have a race to win."

"Eat our sand losers!" Courtney added.

Alejandro just smirked evilly. "Such witty remarks from such formidable women," Alejandro laughed, "I am both humbled and intrigued."

"Nice try," Courtney said as she ruffled Duncan's Mohawk, "I'm with Duncan."

"And it is such a shame that you give yourself to a punk," Al then cockily, "Who doesn't deserve you."

"Hey," Duncan said, raising his hand, "I'm right here."

"I'm sorry," Alejandro said dismissively, "but the adults are talking at the moment."

Duncan growled at the Spaniard.

* * *

**Heather:** Oh he is good. Seriously, I don't understand it. He's so…perfect-guh!

* * *

"Hey Izzy," Cody asked, "Do you see the Nile?"

"Nope," Izzy said while moving the camel's lips, "Not yet."

"It's got to be around here!"

Alejandro then looked to the left, and caught sight of the great river. He calmly turned the stick holding Owen's scarab, and thus caused the heavy teen to waddle towards the banks of the Nile. The Amazon's, too angry from their conversation, were still looking ahead, and did not see what Al had done.

* * *

**Alejandro:** Perhaps it would have been kind to show the girls' team where the Nile was. But hey, my team needs all the help it can get.

* * *

"Uh guys," Gwen scowled as Team Amazon stood on a gaint dune in the Sahara desert. Now, unless you are some kind of mummy army, or you are only there to drop off John Edwards and have a mode of transport that let's you leave behind that piece of…I'm getting away from myself here. Let's just say it's bad and leave it at that.

"Does anyone know where we are?" Heather asked.

"Ha ha," Izzy laughed, "Planet Earth silly."

They all looked at one another.

"Were lost!"

* * *

"No," Katie whined, "Were so far behind the others, we can't even see the others."

"Didn't we pass that cactus before," Bridgette pointed out.

"Oh yeah," Lindsey then waved at the plant, "Hi pointy!"

Leshawna then skidded to a halt. "We've been running in circles."

"Ugh," the groaned.

* * *

**Zach:** (Is writing something down, and then holds it up for the camera. The sign reads, "We have no sense of direction.")

* * *

"Look," Tyler pointed as the Jets reached the Nile's bank, "there is the finish line!"

"Yeah," Noah groaned, "On the other side."

As if to underscore this point, several crocodiles jumped out of the river, snapping their jaws. Chris smiled, as he greeted the team.

"Welcome to the third challenge," Chris said. The Jets looked at one another in confusion.

"What!" Owen shouted back, "Speak up!"

Chris, ticked off, grabbed his megaphone and shouted, "Welcome to your third challenge, Basket Cases!" he huge sound blast had blown the Jets off their feet, "You must weave a basket of river reeds, across these alligator infested waters. Your basket must be big enough for your whole team, including your reward from the last challenge."

"Stupid goat," Paul grumbled.

"Hey," Tyler shouted.

"I think he was talking about the goat," Al said, pointing at the actual goat.

"Oh."

"Then you must use those oars," the all looked to see several dozen oars lying around the shore, "And cross the river. First team here rides first class to our next destination."

"Alright," Harold pumped his fist, "Yet another opportunity to show off my mad skills!"

"You know how to basket weave?" Paul groaned, slapping his forehead.

"Sure," Harold explained, "I learned at Mother Steve's Management Camp."

* * *

**Paul:** (Looks blankly at the screen. He then silently cracks up, before regaining control and calming down. Two seconds later, he explodes into full blown laughter.

* * *

"Lost in Egypt," Leshawna groaned, "Ain't that a kick in the pants!"

"From first place to last," Jonathon growled, throwing the stick to the ground and running over it with his chair, "Dang it!" He then looked down at the pieces of the stick, and saw one of the pieces rumbling away from them.

"It's a diving rod!"

"I don't want to be struck by lighting!"

* * *

**Zach:** (Writing something down. Turns it which reads, "She must have traded her brains for her chest." He then cracks up)

* * *

"A divining rod helps you find water," Leshawna explained.

"Chris said that the reward had its advantages," D.J. thought, "That thing can lea us straight to the Nile."

"That's my baby!" Momma shouted, hugging D.J., this caused Danielle to look at them with un-comfortable eyes. Momma noticed this and glared at the conservative girl.

* * *

**Momma:** Look, I'm not about to let some new girl take my baby away without evaluating her first. Don't want some kind of domineering slave driver taking my son, ya know.

* * *

The girls of Team Amazon were arguing over where to turn the camel next. Duncan, Eva, and Izzy had nearly had it.

"Hey guys," Izzy offered, "Why don't we ask the camel where the Nile is?" She then let out another garbled message; thought the camel seemed to understand, as it suddenly about-faced.

"Okay," Courtney said, "The fact that the camel turned around was simply a coincidence."

"Hey," Gwen pointed out ahead of them, "What's that?"

"The finish line!" the entire team said with surprise.

* * *

**Eva:** How come the only one on our team we can get to work competently is the insane girl?

* * *

By the time Amazon had arrived, both of the other teams had already started their rafts. Both were in nearly mint condition, and the teams were just adding the finishing touches. Eva jumped down angrily, but Sierra followed, skipping happily.

"Alright!" the fan shouted, "Basket weaving. I'm like a fourth generation basket weaver!"

As she set down to work, Alejandro looked over the opposite teams. He then rubbed his chin, seeing possibilities.

* * *

**Alejandro:** Look, I know what a danger Eva is, so she needs to go from the game, and fast. Perhaps a tri-team trade is in order.

* * *

"My oh my," Al offered, "It seems that you are frustrated with your team."

"Yeah," Eva noted, "What else is new?"

"Why don't I offer you a way out of such a pathetic team," Alejandro then opened his arms, "A trade."

"So what," Eva growled, "I join your team?"

"No," Suddenly all teams turned to him, "I say why not you go join Team Victory, as they seem the most appropriate to your disposition. And for Amazon," Alejandro then shoed Beth, "We will give you Beth."

"What?" the girl asked in shock.

"And for those trades," Alejandro noted, "We will take Lindsey."

"Alright!" Tyler shouted excitedly.

"Fine with me," Courtney said.

"Good," Eva growled.

* * *

**Courtney:** Let's face it; Eva's presence on any team only takes team spirit down. And believe me; we have more than enough of that with Heather.

**Eva:** Courtney will regret trading me. You hear me!

**Beth:** Why would Alejandro want to trade me?

**Alejandro:** In all honesty, Beth has become immune from the powers of sexy males after her time with Justin, so I had to replace her with a more athletic, and easier to control, pawn. Because, in the end, that's all they are.

* * *

"What's going on here?" Chris asked.

"We had a three team swap," Alejandro explained. Chris then acquired a deep in thought appearance.

"Well whatever decision you make," Sierra said, "I'm it will be the best, because you are the best decision maker ever!"

"And that is why I'm going to allow it."

* * *

**Chris:** What can I say, I'm generous.

**Paul:** (From Outside) Yeah, like a rat!

**Chris:** Why won't you leave me alone?

* * *

As the other teams finished their boats, the Amazons, now with Beth, were just about to disembark. But their camel seemed to have other ideas.

"Duncan!" Courtney shouted, "Let's go!"

"Trying princess!" Duncan shouted, "Before the camel suddenly sat on his face.

"Izzy," Courtney sighed, "please tell ruby to get on the boat."

"Okay," Izzy said excitedly, before adding in a few camel phrases, bringing the mammal onto the boat.

This small delay, however, allowed all the teams to make it on to the river at the same time. Team victory seemed destined to win with Eva's extreme paddling, but the waters were fierce. But the order of Courtney's instructions allowed the Amazon's to keep pace with them. But the Jets also had a strong case, just keeping right behind the others. With one last final burst, Eva powered through the water, over the crocs, and onto the opposite shore, meaning Team Victory crossed the river first, Amazon in second, and The Jets in third.

"Alright," Chris said happily, "Now since all of you crossed the finish line, as long as you brought your reward, you all are safe."

"Crap!" Jonathon shouted, as they all looked back to see the stick on the opposite shore.

"Well ain't that a dosy," Chris laughed, only to have his eyes widen when Eva grabbed the paraplegic by the neck.

"How dare you make us lose!" the angry girl screamed, "You are going down!"

"Help!" Jonathon screamed, when suddenly several darts appeared in Eva's neck, causing her to fall asleep. Chris simply smiled.

* * *

**Chris:** McGregor, it's Scottish for bull's-eye!

**Paul:** (From outside) Rip off!

**Chris:** Quiet you!

* * *

"Well, well," Chris said. Already, the entirety of Team Victory were sitting on the plane. They were on bleachers made out of wood, and surrounded by Hawaiian collectables. "While you came in first, you lost your reward, meaning that instead of enjoying the first class cabin, you are stuck here, having to vote one of your own out…Jonathon."

"Oh thanks a lot!"

"Any way, vote time," suddenly, the screen changed to the confessional, were Danielle stamped down on a passport, "Stamp your passport to reveal your vote. The one who has the most votes will be sent down the drop of shame."

"Okay now," Chris suddenly raised a hand filled with bags of peanuts, "The following people are safe."

"Leshawna, Katie, Sadie, and Momma D.J."

All four caught their peanut bags and began to munch on said nuts.

"D.J., Bridgette, Danielle, and Zach."

They all also caught their bags of peanuts.

"And it comes down to this, Jonathon, you cost the team big, and Eva, well, you get angry really. And now, the final bag goes to…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…Jonathon!"

"What!"

* * *

(Earlier)

**Bridgette:** Ya know, as big as Jonathon screwed up, the thought of staying on the same team with Eva gives me hives, so she is gone.

**Zach:** (Holds up sign, "What, do you think I was going to vote out my own friend?")

**Jonathon:** She scares me.

**D.J.:** She scares me.

**Katie:** (Sitting with Sadie) She scares me.

**Sadie:** Like, me too!

**Danielle:** S-sorry Eva, b-but I think-k it's time for-or you to go-o

* * *

"You can't make me leave yet!" Eva shouted, as Chef lead her to the door to the outside, "I'm going to kill you-ah!" She screamed as Chef pushed her out of the plane.

* * *

(In Cockpit)

"Well," Chris commented, "Who will be the next contestant to take the drop of shame."

"What location will we go to next."

"And…" he suddenly realizes his phone is ringing, he opens it, and hears a lot of shouting on the other end, "Yeah, I know that song is plagerized, don't worry…wait, you what do you mean that we have already made ten times as many hits with this song as the last one. Do people really want to hear different renditions of popular song so badly. Wait, do more, but sir, won't we be…fine, well will try to help get songs that are popular."

"Okay, you heard it here, from now on, we will try to find fun, famous songs for out contestants to sing. Sure, there will be a few new, made up stuff, but most will be songs you enjoy, which are far more creative. What will they sing next?"

"Find out next time, on Total Drama…World Tooouuuuuurrrrrr!

* * *

AN: And yes, this is done. Any suggestions for songs would be appreciated. Also, I would like to say thank you to those who have given ideas, but please keep them in more concrete places. I got an email suggesting Bikin Bottom, and though that may make for a cool song, it would not work for realism. It's a reality based cartoon.

Also, I do suggest actually listening to the song when you read, as it helps connect you to the song more. Until next time.

Hakuna Matata!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I only own My OC's Jonathon, Zach, Danielle and Paul.

Max3833 presents…

Total Drama World Tour: 2.0

* * *

Last time on Total Drama World Tour, The contestants were forced to go through the Sahara Desert, to the Nile. Along the way, they sang their way past scarabs, figured out how to use a diving rod, and even switched teams. In the end, the Jets pulled off a major victory, and Team Victory was the first team to send someone home, as rage-a-holic Eva was sent packing.

Where will we arrive this time?

What over the top challenge will we force on our contestants?

And what song will we rip off this time?

Find out now, on Total Drama, World Tooooouuuuuurrrrrrrrr!

(Theme Song!)

"Ah!" Owen screamed, "I don't want to die!"

"Quiet please," Paul groaned, relaxing as he was given a back massage, "We have this nice, peaceful, relaxing compartment to ourselves, and due to my own personal desire to keep it ours, I suggest you shut it so we can rest up for the next insane challenge."

The other members of the Jets also seemed to be enjoying the luxury of their victory. Alejandro was eating a steak, Lindsey and Tyler were making out, Geoff was sipping on a soda, Trent was tuning his guitar, and Harold was watching a few Japanese documentaries while threw some popcorn into his mouth.

"Besides," Noah stated as he reclined with a bag of chips, "Flight is among the safest forms of air travel, except when it takes place in a death trap."

* * *

"Why are we in this death trap!" Courtney shouted seething as she attempted to repair the hole in the wall that had appeared. They had luckily found some repair supplies quickly, and fixed the patch up, but they were all frightful of what might else happen to the airplane. Courtney swiped sweat from her brow, as she finished nailing in the last board, keeping the suction on the crew to a minimum. "Besides," she said, "Why should we be out here, we beat Team Victory."

"Hey!" Katie shouted, as she put down her screw driver, "We are here you know."

"And that is the problem!" Courtney growled, "Shouldn't we have some kind of second place lodging unit if we come in second?"

"Hey babe," Duncan said soothingly, "Relax, we will be fine."

"Duncan," Courtney seethed, "Let me handle this."

Duncan just glared at his girlfriend, who had gone off on her own to the confessional. Gwen just placed her hand on his shoulder, trying to calm her friend down.

* * *

**Courtney:** I never thought I'd say this, but I miss Wawanakwa. At least there, we all had beds. Now, we have been flying for twelve hours, and I haven't been able to lie down!

**Duncan:** Okay, Courtney is starting to get on my nerves. Sure, she's hot, smart, and can be very… (Holds his hand on his chin while he grins perversely) physical…but I can't take her obsessive-compulsiveness much more. Why can't she be more like Gwen? Not only is she hot, but she can be really cool to…okay Mclean, give me that film, our I will have to rip this thing apart.

**Chris:** And that is why I always get a titanium case for confession cameras.

* * *

"Excuse me," all the contestants turned to see the intercom blaring, "All contestants please report to the mess room. And I mean all contestants, so don't try anything…Duncan!"

"He sure has me pegged," Duncan stated sarcastically, causing Gwen to giggle, which as a by product, Courtney to growl.

* * *

**Courtney:** Oh, I see, trying to make me angry by hanging out with Gwen? Like that will work…AH!

* * *

"Welcome to today's challenge," Chris began, only to be caught off by Harold.

"Is it a reward, or an elimination challenge?" he asked.

"Good question Harold," Chris said, "And like I'm gonna tell you."

"It's probably reward," Tyler pointed out, only for all to hear the audible slap of Paul's hand his face.

* * *

**Paul:** Really, really, you honestly think that saying this is gonna be a reward is not going to just go ahead and make sure that it's a freaking elimination. Really? God damn these idiots. They should be given a reward for sucking…ASS!

* * *

"Well I hope you all brought your giant radioactive monster repellent," Chris joked, "Cause today, we are having our challenge in the legendary nation of Japan." Suddenly Chef burst through the door, wearing an orange monk outfit, and sword.

"Geez Chef," Harold groaned, "That's a Chinese outfit."

"That-t is tr-true," Danielle added, "I h-have m-many traditional Jap-Japanese outfits at home f-for my fam-family visits."

"Thank you, Japanese geeks," Harold simply glared at the host, while Danielle looked down in shame, "Now remember, any one who doesn't sing-"

"I mean," Harold continued, "You think that," Suddenly, Paul came from behind and wacked him upside the head with a frying pan, surprising everyone.

* * *

**Paul:** Do they never learn? I mean, you have two sadists who consider themselves musical geniuses hosting this crap shoot of a show. And does he learn to think through his comments. No, that Napoleon Dynamite rip off just goes around mouthing off and annoying them. Is he high? Does he not realize that what he says may have an adverse affect on all of us? Is he truly that_… (We can not repeat the next statement, as it is considered offensive to all people who can understand English. Please watch this soothing scene instead)_

(Shows a Kola eating a leaf)

**Paul:**…And that is why I believe we should throw Harold to hyenas.

* * *

"Welcome to the actual location of our challenge," Chris laughed, as the campers all piled off the plane, and into a small indoor walkway, which lead into a building.

"Why can't we see anything?" Owen asked.

"Because," Chris suddenly began to count down from three with his fingers, "Welcome to Majide Time!"

Suddenly the entire building lit up revealing a large crowd of Japanese patrons clapping loudly. Then, if that alone was not enough to cause them to fear for their lives, they were horrified when they was the host. He had long, well groomed black hair, which seemed to be gelled excessively, a blue shirt with many pockets, brown cargo shots, a five o' clock shadow, and a sadistic smile. Yes, it was the most horrific thing on Earth…A JAPANESE CHRIS MCLEAN!

Suddenly, the Japanese Devil incarnate said something, causing the entire audience to burst out laughing.

"T-that w-wasn't very nice," Danielle blushed, as she, Al, and Zeke, who all knew Japanese, were shocked to hear the insults coming their way.

"In today's challenge," Chris said, "Each team will send up a one contestant at a time. My buddy over there will spin the," Suddenly a gaint wheel descended from the ceiling, "Wheel of HIDEOUS SCREAMING PAIN!," all the contestants looked on in fear, "and the three will compete with each other to earn their team a point," Suddenly, three meters fell from the roof, revealing the log's of the teams next to large upright rectangles divided into three blocks, "When a team reaches three points, they win immunity, as well a first class ticket to our next destination. The team with the next highest amount of points does not have to send anyone, while the one with the fewest points does."

"It's Majide TIME!"

They all turned to see the spinner rounding the options, as they noticed that it began to slow down, they looked at one another, trying to decide who would face one another.

"Might as well get this over with," Gwen volunteered as she went first.

"Oh," Sadie said excitedly, "Let me go, this will be fun!"

"No way," Paul said, "I don't trust anything that looks like Chris McLean, and none of these challenges sound to inviting."

"But," Harold pointed out, "I am an expert on all things Japan, so I can't go either."

"I really don't want to go this time," Trent looked over to see his ex standing as his competition.

"Um," Owen said, "I just ate."

"These shows usually have sporty themes," Noah stated, "And I have no talent at sports."

"Oh," Tyler shouted, " I can-"

"Dudes," Geoff laughed, "Leave this to me; I can't wait to get back on the party plane!"

Suddenly, the spinner finally stopped, and it stopped on a small bear head. The crowd roared, as a giant TV screen blared on and suddenly, a gaint panda appeared on the screen.

"PANDA BEAR PANIC!" The Japanese Chris shouted.

* * *

**Gwen:** Man, Duncan has been getting pissed off by Courtney lately. He keeps on trying to get me alone and talk…I wonder if he is trying to come onto me…Not that I hope he is-ha ha! (Looks down in melancholy)

**Trent:** Yeah, I really haven't gotten over Gwen. I mean, she hasn't gotten into a relationship with anyone yet, so I think I may still have a chance to make up for what happened last season.

**Cody:** Okay, this is not good! Not only is Duncan trying to get closer to Gwen, but so is Trent. If I don't move fast, I could lose my best chance to be the rebound guy! And I rock as the rebound guy!

**Paul:** Panda? PANDA! THERE ARE NO *BEEP*ING PANDA'S IN FREAKING JAPAN! ARE YOU HIGH! I MEAN SERIOUSLY, CAN'T THESE PEOPLE KNOW THEIR OWN NATURAL ECOSYSTEM! IS SOME COMPETANCE TO MUCH TO ASK FOR?

* * *

"In Panda Bear Panic," the Chris knock off explained, "You all will attempt to capture bamboo from the cute little panda bear cubs."

Suddenly, the floor opened up, revealing a small hill, with four cutesy Pandas sitting and munching on some bamboo. They rolled around, wrestled each other, and were just all around cute and huggable.

"Aw!" the entire cast cooed. Suddenly, a Japanese intern, holding another packet of bamboo, walked up to them. They suddenly growled, jumped on top of him, and proceeded to scratch his face.

"Aw," Chris cooed, while the rest of the cast backed away in fear, "Cute!" he then turned back to the objects of his sadism, "Now you three get your buts in there," All three raised their hands, "And no, none of you can have protective padding."

All put their hands down.

* * *

"Oh man," Gwen groaned as she and the others hid behind a bush that had been provided by the Japanese staging crew, "Were gonna get killed."

"Hey," Sadie said, "We can't give up now. Come on, I'm sure we can sneak some of the bamboo if we go really quietly."

Sadie calmly walked out from the bush, and tip-toed up near the bears. Hiding behind another bush, she reached out, and calmly reached for the bamboo. Finally, when the Panda's weren't looking at her, she snatched away a piece.

"Hey guys!" Sadie shouted, "I got it!"

This of course, caught the attention of the Panda cubs, which pounced on the heavier twin. As her screams ripped through the air, the Japanese crowd cheered with sadistic glee as both of the other representatives tried to find a way out of the competition. When the host simply pointed towards the bamboo, they both sighed and walked up the hill, meeting two interns carrying a heavily injured Sadie down towards the infirmary at the half way point.

"Um," Geoff said, looking at the growling Panda's, before turning back to Gwen and motioning with hi arms, "Ladies first?"

"BOO!" the heard the entire audience scream, and suddenly Geoff's image appeared as a giant baby soiling himself on the screen.

"Alright, alright," Geoff groaned, "I'll do it!"

The party boy calmly walked up to Panda's who were glaring at him with disdain. He then put his hands up, as he walked inch by inch closer to the bamboo.

"Hey there little guys," he laughed, "I'm just going to be taking some of this here bam-ah!" One of the Pandas pounced at him, and he barely dodged them. Just as they began to attack in full force against Geoff, he was greeted by the absolutely worst bit of timing imaginable.

**DING!**

"Seriously?" Geoff asked, as he stopped in mid dodge, and Pandas in midair of their pounce, "I mean, seriously?"

"Yep," Chris said, "But to make things fair, only you and Gwen have to sing this one, since you're in the challenge."

"How is that fair?" Gwen asked in anguish.

"It's not," Chris smirked, "But since when do I give a crap about that?"

"But I don't know any Japanese!" Geoff screamed.

"Then just do another Disney song!"

Geoff looked down in compellation for a moment, before a light bulb lit up in his mind.

"Listen here Gwen," Geoff said, "All we gotta do is…"

Suddenly, the world became covered in trees, Geoff appeared in a bear cloth cloak, the Pandas fell to the ground, and Gwen was in a loincloth two-piece.

"Why do we always have to have fan service," Gwen groaned.

"_Look for the," Geoff continued, clapping his hands together loudly, "Bare Necessities, the simple bare necessities, forget about your worries and your strife!"_

_The Pandas, who were scratching there heads before, began to smile, and began to follow Geoff in a small dance._

"_I mean the, Bare Necessities, the simple bear necessities," with the last line, he pointed at the Pandas, who seemed to clap with happiness at being mentioned, "Our mother nature's recipes, that bring the bare necessities of life."_

"_Wherever I wander," the teen laughed, as he, unnoticed by any one else, began to pile bamboo into his hands, "Wherever I roam!"_

"_I couldn't be fonder," Gwen suddenly sang as she too grabbed some large shafts of bamboo, before adding, "of my own home."_

"That's it," Geoff winked, before continuing.

"_Look for the Bare Necessities, the simple bare necessities, forget about your worries and you strife," as they sang together, they began to dance down the hill, and towards the exit, "We mean the, Bare Necessities, the simple bare necessities, just live by them and you will have a good ol life."_

"_Just live by them," Geoff said, as he jumped off the hill._

"_And you will have a good ol life!" Gwen finished, as she joined him in victory._

Both the Jets and Team Amazon cheered in victory.

"Alright," Chris said, "Nice, that's gonna get us tons of hits on I-tunes. So both teams get a point," Both the Blue Jet meter and the red Amazon meter lit up, "while Team Victory is left in the loser category."

"Well let's get to our next challenge," suddenly, Asian Chris hit his remote, and the spinner began to, you guessed it, spin.

"So," Alejandro brought forth, "I do believe we should have Paul go next."

"But why me?" Paul asked with confusion.

"Yeah," the eager Tyler said, "Why him?"

"The chances of having two incredibly hard challenges in a row are unlikely," Alejandro pointed out, "So it would be best to get out weakest member done quickly."

* * *

**Alejandro:** In all honesty, I just wanted to pay that jerk back for Celebrity Manhunt.

**Paul:** (covered in bandages, holding a small stethoscope in his hand) I knew it!

* * *

"Don't worry," Katie shouted, "I will avenge Sadie!"

"Guess it's up to me," Duncan groaned, "I can handle these girls."

"Hey!"

The giant spinner finally stopped on a small boxing glove. The giant TV illuminated, revealing a small stick figure being bounced around by two giant boxing gloves, creating yet another roar from crowd.

"Will you stop that?" Paul shouted to the crowd.

"This is known as the great Boxing Battle Course!" Chris explained, "You will be expected to run through a gaint obstacle course, filled with pratfalls, and more importantly, giant boxing gloves that come up and punch you lights out if you hit the wrong switch." The hill with the Pandas, who were rabidly running towards the cast, suddenly fell into the floor, and was replaced by a long hall with a red line on one side, and the cast on the other, "The first contestant to make it to the other side wins a point for their team. So I hope you are ready!"

"Suck my ass," Duncan groaned. The three looked at one another, and suddenly threw out their fists.

"Rock, paper, scissors!" they shouted.

"Yes," Katie shouted, holding up her paper, to the other two's rocks, "I go last!"

The two males sighed, before the both threw out their fists, "Rock, Papers, Scissors!" Suddenly, as Paul threw out paper, Duncan threw a rock at him, hitting him where the sun don't shine.

"I had paper," Paul wheezed.

"Yeah," Duncan laughed, "And I had a rock, so get going!"

"Oh, suck it," Paul groaned, getting up, and looked out over the course. He paused for a second, looked back at the others, sighed, and jumped down on the course. Suddenly, a giant tile was indented, and out of the wall on the right, a giant boxing glove suddenly flew out, and knocked him into a nearby wall. He then, in a daze, stepped out of the wall, and stepped forward, and again, stepped on a switch, sending a boxing glove out from the left wall this time, sending him flying to the right wall. After another three minutes of this pinball game Paul walked back to the starting line.

"Done," he said in a tired voice.

"Well," Chris marveled, "while that was impressive endurance, you are on the wrong side."

"Aw suck it!"

"Now with all the traps gone," Duncan laughed, "I guess being in second doesn't hurt."

Duncan chuckled as he stepped out on the course, only to see the tile he stepped on be switched, open up, and a boxing glove hit him up into the air, colliding with the light, and electrocuting him.

"Ow," his withered husk moaned, as he fell back to the starting spot.

"Man," Katie quivered, "This so doesn't look…Wait," she then pointed at the course, "all the switches that Paul hit are still down, I guess that means that none of them can hurt me," she then turned to Chris, "right?"

"Wow," Chris rubbed the back of his head, "I was kinda hoping you wouldn't notice that."

Katie simply hopped from the activated switch to activated switch. After two minutes of navigating the checkerboard style course, she finally reached the finish line, jumped over it, and cheered.

"Alright," Chris smiled, "and Victory has managed to tie up the score again."

As the spinner again did its thing, the entire cast began to look at one another. This might get progressively more painful, noting the tortured looks of Duncan and Paul as they were moved to the infirmary.

"So," Geoff said, relieved that he would not have to go again, "Who's up next?"

"I will!" Tyler shouted, "I can handle anything that this show can throw at me."

"Okay," Noah chuckled, "It's your funeral."

"Don't worry guys," Leshawna smiled, "Leshawna gonna take our winning streak up to two!"

This time, it was the Amazon team that was arguing. They all seemed to be bickering, considering their two toughest competitors were out.

"I can't do this," Courtney said quickly, "I'm Duncan's girlfriend, and I have to be there to give him emotional support!"

"Oh," Heather chuckled, "I thought that was Gwen's job."

"Guys!" Cody shouted, "Stop bickering, I'll do it."

"You get them Cody!" Sierra shouted.

"Why do I feel a certain shroud of doom?" Cody groaned, as the spinner stopped on a slice with a dragon head. The screen lit up, with a giant dragon cooking several humans on a spit while breathing the flames to cook them with.

"DRAGON COOKOFF!"

Again the crowd roared.

"In this challenge," Chris smirked, "You will be placed on a gaint rolling spit. As the spit rolls in place, you will be expected to keep your balance. At the same time, we will have giant statues of dragons spiting fire at you. Last one on the spit, and not fried, wins another point for their team.

* * *

**Noah:** Okay, I may not know Japanese law, but something tells me that there is no way this is legal.

* * *

The three were standing on a giant rolling metal barrel. The slowly turning of the pole and all three began to balance themselves on its spin.

"Yeah baby!" Leshawna shouted, "I got this thing in the bag. I beat a famous log rolling bear in the first season; I can handle anything they can throw at me!"

She was answered when a dragon statue shot out in front of her, flames burst from its mouth, and she was cooked. As she fell from the spit, Cody and Tyler looked at one another in fear. Each did not know when a dragon might pop out, and they would be the next contestant to be cooked.

"Okay Tyler," the wannabe jock said to him, "You can do this. Just stay calm. There is no way that you could possibly," suddenly, he slipped, hit his face on the pole, and fell to the ground in a heap.

"Well," Chris commented, as Team Amazon cheered, "That was unexpected."

"Alright Cody!" Sierra shouted as she hugged the life out of him.

Again the spinner spun as the Amazon meter added another bar of victory. The teams got together once again, and looked at one another for the next choice.

"I will go," Alejandro said valiantly, "I will bring us to the lead once more!"

"I think its Heather's turn," Gwen offered.

"For once," Courtney smirked, "I agree."

"What!"

"So what about us," Jonathon asked, "I'm handicap, we've already used both cannon fodder characters, one of which strangely won the challenge for us, and our captain was eliminated easily. That leaves Danielle," the shy girl waved weakly to her teammates, "Zach," The mute calmly raised a sign that was censored out, "D.J. and his Momma," D.J. tried to protect his aged mother, "and Bridgette," Bridgette smiled, as she walked out onto the team platform.

"I can handle this," the cool surfer girl smiled. Al smiled as he saw his opponents.

* * *

**Alejandro:** Okay, having two girls as my opponents, I will be able to use all of my sexiness, intelligence, and cunning to make them lose for me. Besides, this might be good for me when dealing with my own team…and by that, I mean getting rid of contestants who might distract my teammates from the main goal.

* * *

"And your challenge is Mushroom Hopping!" Chris shouted, as the screen showed a man bouncing on top of a gaint mushroom, "In this challenge, you will be expected to jump across a giant course of mushrooms. The first one to make it to the other side of the field wins a point for their team. Oh yeah, and we do have a few other small surprises for you."

All three got to the starting line, and then jumped onto the first mushrooms. Each of them jumped to the second mushroom, easily catching themselves, and realizing that the mushrooms were stable enough to hold their weight.

Before long, they all were half way across the course. All three seemed to have gained enough confidence that they were making quick work of each new hop.

"But it looks like the first obstacle is coming in," Chris laughed, as suddenly, three flying turtles appeared. Well, more they were simply interns in winged turtle costumes, but they were still in the way of the contestants.

"It's not like they can really do anything to us," Heather commented, as she tried to jump past one of them. Said turtle threw a hammer at her, which she barely dodged.

"Oh come on!" she shouted, as the three jumped, barely escaping each of the hammers. During one jump, Alejandro back flipped, allowing him to catch sight of a giant rig which held all of the turtles. He then adeptly caught a thrown hammer, and tossed it into the air, knocking the rig, and by association the winged turtles, to the ground beneath the mushrooms.

"Alright Al!" Owen shouted, causing the Spanish man to shudder.

* * *

**Alejandro:** I don't mind being called Al, really I don't.

* * *

"And here comes obstacle number two!" Chris smirked, as yet again, costumed turtle men appeared before the contestants. Except this time, they were throwing axes.

"This can't be legal," Bridgette groaned, as she continued to try to keep herself from slipping. Finally, one of the axes passed by Alejandro, but it caught part of his shirt. Suddenly, both layers of his upper body covering were ripped, and his bare chest was revealed.

Both Heather and Bridgette saw this, and they just happened to be on adjacent mushrooms, and hoping to jump to the same mushroom. They both drooled, and jumped, not fully aware that the other one had jumped as well. This of course, caused a rather painful collision.

* * *

**Zach:** (Writing something down. Turns it to reveal "Why couldn't it have been one of the girls to lose their shirt?" And gives a wide grin)

* * *

"Bridge!" Geoff shouted, as both his girlfriend and Heather fell through the mushrooms, and to the floor. Alejandro, seizing this opportunity, jumped over to the finish line, and won the challenge.

"Well that looked painful," Chris smiled, "Well that leaves both Team Amazon with the Jets with two points, and Team Victory with one. So if either Amazon or the Jets win this next challenge, they get first class, the other one votes off no one, and Team Victory does have to vote someone off."

As once again the spinner spun, the three teams huddled together.

"We need to use our strongest," Jonathon pointed out, "At the very least, we will force overtime with the other teams, so as long as we get this next point, we still have a fighting chance!"

"So who is our strongest player?" D.J. asked. The others stared at him with disbelieving looks, though Danielle's seemed to be one more of admiration than damnation.

"No way," D.J. shrieked, "I can't handle another one of these insane-ow!"

"You listen to me Devon Joseph," Momma growled, holding onto her son's ear, "You are going to give your best effort on this. No son of mine is going to quit…again!"

* * *

**Momma:** Look, I love my son, and I don't mind that he quit last season to try to redeem himself, but in reality, what had his alliance won him? Access to the kitchen, and…nothing really, he won everything last season on his own. Sure, he had an illegal alliance, but it was more from Chef than from anyone else. I hope he realizes that I expect him to not quit this season, and to stop being a wimp.

* * *

"Okay," D.J. whined, "okay!"

"They do have a good point," Gwen muttered as she and the Amazons huddled, "We need to use our best for this next challenge. But who is our best."

All the Amazons turned to Izzy, who was currently holding one of the Pandas. How she got it…well its better if you don't know. The Panda growled at Izzy, and began to scratch her face. But instead of screaming, she giggled.

"Isn't it cute," she said, holding it out in front of Ezekiel, whom it promptly scratched.

* * *

**Gwen:** She may be our best, but she is also our craziest.

**Izzy:** Oh my gosh, so many of these challenges looked so cool. I mean those Pandas were so cute, and they got even cuter when they got all homicidal and junk. Then there were those cool boxing gloves, and those were so fun when they sent Duncan sky high. Oh, and did you see Paul being bounced around like a pinball. Whoa that was so cool. I hope he gets better soon. It's not as fun if your mate can't handle pain. Oh yeah, I remember one time, in the Andes, there was this really cute Ecuadorian boy. I thought he would make a boyfriend, but then I found out he was a wimp. I mean, if you can't handle being mauled by a Jaguar, how are you gonna handle me.

* * *

"Okay," Noah noted, "Against Izzy and D.J., are options are I, Owen, Lindsey, and Harold. Good god we're doomed."

"Fear not!" Harold declared, suddenly jumping out in a karate outfit, "I will secure our second victory in a row!"

"We're dead," Paul said, as he stood next to Noah, covered in bandages and holding a crutch in under his left armpit.

* * *

**Paul:** Yeah, got knocked for a loop during that last challenge, but I feel good, it's not like I'll get hurt this bad again this season…right?

* * *

"Your challenge is…" the crowd stared anxiously at the spinner, as it continued to slow down, finally stopping on a small heart, "Animal taming!"

"Oh no!" D.J. groaned.

* * *

**D.J.:** I thought I got lucky when I didn't have to do the Panda challenge. But now my curse will show up in this challenge. But, maybe it won't be so bad. I mean, come on, what kind of animal would they get for us to tame?

* * *

"Please welcome in today's animals," Chris said, "The dolphins!"

Suddenly, the entire crowd began to jeer the animals, which tried to hide away from them at the back of the tank.

* * *

**Bridgette:** Oh no! I forgot, in Japan, the people love to kill dolphins, nearly as much as we Canadians love to eat maple syrup. And believe me; we have pancakes for breakfast at my house.

* * *

"If you can safely get one of the dolphins to navigate their way to you, and willing accept food from your hand. However, you must be on the side of the tank closest to those blood thirsty fishermen," Chris pointed at several men in old fashioned fishermen outfits, wielding giant spears and meat hooks.

"#Q$ you dolphin!" one of them shouted.

"Okay," D.J. said, as he calmly grabbed some fish and climbed up the ladder, "Just got to get the Dolphin over here quick, and get it back safe and sound," he then held out his fish, just above the water, "Come here little guy, come get some food."

One of the dolphins, straying out from the others, slowly swam towards D.J. It then, looking around, swam up to the surface, only two feet away from the linebacker, seeming to smile. Just as it began to gain speed, suddenly a spear flew through the air, and impaled the poor mammal.

"Yeah!" the crowd of Japanese fishermen screamed, the one who threw the spear getting a high five from one of the others.

"NO!" D.J. cried.

* * *

**D.J.:** Why cruel mummified dog? WHY!

* * *

"So Izzy's up next," Izzy noted, as she climbed the stair, "Don't worry cute dolphin, I will stop any attack on you."

Neither of the living dolphins moved. Izzy then glared at them.

"Hey!" she shouted, "You better come here right now!"

Neither moved.

"That's it," Izzy jumped into the water, grabbed the nearest dolphin, and began to punch it.

"And that means Harold wins invincibility!" Chris declared.

"Why?" Heather asked.

"Izzy went to the dolphin, instead of it going to her," Chris explained, "Now that means The Jets are in first class, Amazon is again in second, and Team Victory will vote out their second member tonight. See you back on the plane."

* * *

**Harold:** Okay, on the one hand, I win the challenge for my team. On the other, I don't even get to show off my mad Japanese knowledge. Like the fact that medieval Japan actually had a decent amount of Christians until the Shogun killed them off or that the Sakura Blossom is just another word for cherry trees or that…

* * *

"You know the drill," Chris pointed out, "And have cast your vote. Now time to present the peanuts."

"First are…Jonathon, Zach, and D.J.'s Momma!"

They all got up and grabbed their marshmallows.

"Next…Katie, Bridgette, and Leshawna!"

All three smiled as they also caught their marshmallows.

"So that leaves you three," Danielle, Sadie, and D.J. all began to sweat, "You all received votes tonight…and the one with the least was Danielle."

She smiled as she caught hers, while Momma just glared at her.

* * *

**Momma:** yeah, I voted for her. Sue me!

* * *

"And then there were two," Chris suddenly laughed, "Sadie, you lost the first challenge, and set the team off on a losing streak, and D.J., you lost your challenge too, and killed an innocent dolphin."

* * *

**Bridgette: **Yeah, I voted for D.J. I can handle most things, but killing dolphins!

**Zach:** (Smashes stamp down on Sadie's passport)

* * *

"And the final marshmallow goes to…

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…D.J."

"No!" Katie screamed, crying as her BFF was handed a parachute, "Not Sadie!"

"Don't worry Katie," Sadie soothed, "Just do your be-ah!" she then screamed as she was pushed off the plane by Chef, not even having put her parachute on yet.

* * *

It had been an hour after the voting ceremony, and everyone had settled back into their favorite activities. Harold was trying to explain some obscure fact to Noah, who had mastered the skill of ignoring it by reading a book. Beth and Lindsey were talking with one another, and Tyler was trying to catch Lindsey's attention. And of course, Geoff and Bridgette were making out, which everyone seemed to ignore.

"Hey Bridge," Geoff said suddenly, "Ever get the feeling you were being watched?"

Bridgette shrugged, as they returned to their tongue play. At the same tame, Al smirked, and rubbed his palms together. He then looked over at Courtney and Duncan, who appeared to be arguing, while Gwen, off to the side, looked at Duncan. His smirk grew even wider.

* * *

**Alejandro:** I need to start tearing apart these old contestants. Destroy their trust in one another. Turn past friendships into rivalries, putting one each of them against each other, and make all the major couples hate each other. Alliances made to try to vote out your ex will distract you from me, and of course, move one of the feuding couple mates into my alliance. But no matter what, one by one, they will all go down.

(Door Opens)

**Paul:** Hey jerk, how long are you going to be in here? I have things I want to mock!

**Alejandro:** Just done.

(Alejandro walks out, Paul sits down)

**Paul:** Well…why do I have s great sense of evil from this room. It's just so foreboding.

(Izzy sticks her head down from the vent, giggling at Paul, who begins to hold himself)

**Paul:** I just felt even more evil intentions.

* * *

"Finally we have a real competitor in Alejandro," Chris laughed, as he sat next to Chef, "Where will we visit next time, what challenges will we force our passengers to go through, and will Alejandro begin to take over the game. Find out next time, on Total Drama, World Touuuuuurrrr!"

* * *

AN: Yes! I Won TDI Charlie Brown's challenge. I can't wait for it to come out. But I choose a Christmas special, so I have to wait for a while. Anyway, this is probably going to be my last update for a while.

Anyway, next time, prepare for our first original location. It is in the US, and will be important for at least one couple on the show who gets voted off next. Also, Alejandro will be singing his first song, and it was rated as one of the Top 11 Villain Songs by the Nostalgia Critic. Look him up, he's funny.

Well see you soon. By!


End file.
